Let's Be Friends .... With Discipline!
In this episode of Blank Pages, Tim Pecoraro discusses the importance of discipline and how it can be a reliable friend in achieving goals. He emphasizes the need to focus on action rather than waiting for motivation and provides practical steps to build discipline, set clear goals, and create a reward system.
TAKEAWAYS
Discipline is a reliable friend who can help you achieve your goals, even when lacking motivation.
Setting clear goals and deadlines provides a sense of purpose and urgency, making it easier to take action.
Accountability to others and a reward system can provide external motivation and support for discipline when internal motivation is lacking.
Transcript
Well, hello and welcome to Blank Pages, the podcast. A podcast for people who appreciate the new beginnings of a clean slate, but strive for the courage, willingness, curiosity and creativity available only on the blank pages of new possibilities. It's the potential to move beyond, move forward, where people are willing to make new decisions from fresh perspectives and are ready to write in a much better way. And the world is waiting, and nothing will listen better than a blank piece of paper. So hey there. Welcome and thanks for listening and tuning in again today for another episode of Blank pages. I'm having a lot of fun talking about some of these hopefully shelf life things that are going to help you live an exceptional and extraordinary life. Right? That's pretty important.
Tim Pecoraro [:At least I think it is for a lot of people that I come into contact with. They're wanting a really good life, a very good life. So hopefully this is a way for me to help people to accomplish that. So if you have not already subscribed to the podcast, please do so by going to Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Amazon Music. You can also go to Substack. It's there. I will be getting on substack more in the future, writing some things. So I'm building up my nerves.
Tim Pecoraro [:I think that's what I'm doing. Yeah, I'm building up the nerves, the courage to. Yeah, to just get on there and write in some little things. I think more of like essay style stuff. So anyways, if you're not a. If you're not on Substack, go ahead and join it anyways and check out some people. But you can find me Tim Pecoro or uh, blank pages, the podcast. And then also if you have not done so already, I'd love for you to join our newsletter, which goes out monthly.
Tim Pecoraro [:And you, um, it's just a recap of some things. I throw in some new stuff that I may be getting into in the near future, um, or I will be telling you more about stuff. And I have a, some really cool things that are coming, especially something that is so signature and central to all the work that I do, and I cannot wait to bring that out to the rest of the world. So you can go to Instagram and find me there at Tim Pecoro and it you wanna engage and talk a little bit there, we can dm me and let's get in contact. You can also find me on LinkedIn. I'd love to talk with those of you who are in your professional lives and you are trying to live your best life there as well. You're a one person that lives personally and professionally every single day. So whatever that is, you just get to be one person, and it's an honor.
Tim Pecoraro [:So if you wanna connect with me there, also, it's real simple. Tim Pecoro, you find me, shoot me a message. Love to catch up with you. So today's episode and jumping into episode 26, and this is something that. It's kind of like one of those topics that I feel I'm very excited about. Yay. It's a good topic, but I'm not so excited about it because sometimes I really suck at it. I'm not really good at it.
Tim Pecoraro [:I mean. I mean, I'm bad, okay? Like, I'm bad at this. And it's not that I can. I can't be good at it. It's. I'm just bad. And maybe that's something, you know, this is just making me think maybe I need to spend a little bit of time finding, like, why am I bad at it? Like, what's the deal? Like, what's the barrier? Making a note to self that I need to look into that, you know, which would be important for me to know, why am I bad at that? Why am I bad at this thing? So what is this thing I'm talking about? It's about discipline. So discipline.
Tim Pecoraro [:I want to say that, and I think I'm going to name this episode. Discipline wants to be your reliable friend. Okay? Like, you can count on discipline. Here's the thing, though. Discipline is not. Does not just call itself your friend. You have to make it your friend. Discipline is available to be your friend.
Tim Pecoraro [:Discipline is there. But discipline will not make you do anything kind of like forgiveness. It will not make you. Forgiveness will not make you. Being a forgiving person, being a person who offers grace, being a merciful person, they can't. They do not force you. Those qualities are not. They do not aggressively show up into your life, their opportunities, their choices.
Tim Pecoraro [:And so this whole thing on discipline, I think it's important. And because. And why is this coming to mind? Because. So there are spurts in time where I have to go away for work, and then there's times I don't. You know, I was one of those people. Like, I was not really broken up with all of the. I mean, obviously because of what we went through, through a lot of that Covid stuff and things like that. I mean, there's a lot that happened.
Tim Pecoraro [:However, I wasn't all upset because we had to change the way we work, because I've been an entrepreneur for a long time, and I've had to figure out how to work remotely. I've encouraged companies to try to figure out how to do more remote work and how to build community and culture in your remote spaces. Right. And how to take advantage of that. How to do. Do a one year conference, but every quarter, have something going online where everybody participates in and they stay involved. Right. Like all that stuff, like, so, so that right there, I mean, I'm pretty good at moving around and having to find my way and adjust and all of that stuff, you know, that's.
Tim Pecoraro [:That's. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I'm. I'm okay there. I'm okay. But I feel like a lot of times when we don't want to do that stuff, that's when we lose our interest. We.
Tim Pecoraro [:We lack some things. We miss some finer points, I think, uh, in these opportunities where. Whether it's giving grace to someone, forgiveness to someone, mercy to someone, but in this case, discipline. To let discipline be a reliable friend. I miss it because I I do other things. I make other choices. Maybe I'm looking for external motivation. Maybe I just don't know where the spark is inside of me.
Tim Pecoraro [:Maybe it's just that thing where I say, I'm just not feeling it. I don't feel it. And so if there was a way for us to move past the feeling, that would be cool, right? So how can I move past just feeling something? So I could still be productive, make progress. Well, maybe I need to do that with discipline, right? So here's what I want to start off with. A quick question. If I were to say, how many of you ever had one of those days where you just can't seem to get started, right? You know those days when the bed is super comfortable, right? Or every little task feels like it's the most difficult thing. It's impossible. It's.
Tim Pecoraro [:Or you feel confused, or you feel like this is dumb. You feel. I mean, who knows, whatever it is, but it just feels something that is. It's just a problem. So don't worry. You're not alone, though, because I think we've all been there, right? So. So today what I want to do is I want to talk about something that we all will sometimes with, and that's just getting started. And so whether it's our day, right, just getting the day started, whether it's a project, it could be a simple task at home.
Tim Pecoraro [:It could find. It could be the initial tough push that you need to do something tough, especially when you're not feeling it, it could be the conversation that you need to have with someone that you don't want to have. You know, it's. It's the conversation that, you know, um, you need to have it, and it's a good one, but you don't know how to have a good conversation with this person. Like, who knows? I mean, I don't know the reason, but you're there, right? You struggle with it. But here's the kicker, and it's a little secret that successful, at least I believe the success I've experienced. But the people that I truly see as successful people they live by is you don't always need to feel motivated to get things done. So you make a statement like that when you realize what you need is just discipline.
Tim Pecoraro [:So, motivation, that thing, that spark, that fire that you're looking for. Instead, what you need is, we want to look for discipline. So when motivation is unavailable, let's rely on discipline. But what if we said this? What if discipline was always the reliable friend we kept, and then motivation is the benefit or the extra or the plus when it's available. But whether it's not available or not, I always have my core component, which is my discipline, right? So I know discipline might not. It might sound kind of strict. It may not sound like super, super warm and fuzzy. It's not a fun word, but I need you to stick with me, right? Just stick with me as we go through this.
Tim Pecoraro [:So think of discipline as this reliable friend who shows up every single day. They're there, rain or shine, they're there where you feel it or not. And it helps you to get through whatever that spot is. It is a rough patch, a tough spot. And remember, it's relevant to your world. And what I mean by that is this. Okay, so let's just say a person, you're talking to a person, and they tell you they lost $100, and they can't believe they lost dollar 100. It's really going to mess their life up.
Tim Pecoraro [:And you're sitting there going, wow, well, what are you talking about? I lost $100,000 and they're like, oh, man. Right. But you got to remember in context or how it's relevant to the individual who lost a $100. Maybe they only had $300 to their name, and then you. Maybe you lost 100,000. And yeah, maybe it's a big number, but you have a lot more resource, right, to even have that. So the pain is, you know, it needs to be relevant to that person's experience. And where they are in their situation.
Tim Pecoraro [:So yes, the number is bigger that one has, but it doesn't change the weight of it in the individual's world. So I want you to know that discipline is going to be there. It's going to get you through those tough spots. It's the consistent, dependable force that keeps you moving forward even when your motivation decides that it wants to take a break, take a coffee break, take a day off, take a week off, take a month off. Listen, there are times, I mean, I wonder, like where did I go, when did I go on break and who gave me permission? And maybe you've done that and there's other people that have done it. You've done it in your career. I mean, all of us have the dip. Every single one of us.
Tim Pecoraro [:You know, pro athletes hit slumps. There is no one that runs on constant 100. So how do we harness the superpower? Call discipline and make it work for us? I'm going to give you three simple steps that you can, you know, today that can help you turn gesture. I don't feel like moments into I'm going to do it anyway victory, right? Instead of I don't feel like it to I'm going to do it anyway like I'm going to win because I'm going to do it anyway instead of me finding myself in loss or whatever, because I lack the discipline, because I don't feel it. So rather than wait for even internal motivation, so remember, we look for external motivation. We want internal motivation, which is awesome. But when my motivation is not there, I have discipline. So I want that victory.
Tim Pecoraro [:I want the I'm doing it anyway victory. And don't worry, because we're going to, I'm going to keep it pretty light. You know, it's going to be practical because I want to make this as approachable and embraceable and accomplishable as possible. So let's dive in. I want to jump into how you can take this into your work, your projects, whatever it is. Let's just work on discipline. And I may do a part two or three on this, getting a little bit more into it. But here's a simple way for you to take another step toward inviting discipline in, to be the foundation at which or by which all of your motivation will come from internally.
Tim Pecoraro [:So regardless of whether or not discipline is going to be like your confidence, your assurance, your foundation for all motivation to springboard off of. But if there's no motivation on the springboard of your discipline, you still have access to discipline to do what you need to do. Discipline will be your driver. So here's step one. You want to always. In order to make sure you're not relying only on motivation and where discipline can become your core, go to. It's. You need to establish a routine.
Tim Pecoraro [:You need a ritual in order to get to discipline. So having a consistent routine is going to help you reduce, like, the mental friction of starting a task, a conversation, a project, or even when, once again, the. The feeling part is. Is like a driver, right? So routines are going to signal to your brain that it's time to get to work, regardless of how you feel. So it's training and conditioning, conditioning yourself to do something. I've been having to rebuild my posterior chain because of my knees. And. And now if I take any time off, I can feel my muscles.
Tim Pecoraro [:They're calling for it, even when they ache and they're restless because of a lot of work I'm putting into all the soft tissue areas and all that stuff to keep me from having to get surgery. And it's paying off. But I love it because the routine is. Is a signal to my brain. It's time to get to work. And because of that, when I don't have the motivation to do it, that signal still shows up. So here's some actions. Morning routine.
Tim Pecoraro [:This is what I mean, right? So start your day with a simple routine that includes stretching. Like, that's like, for me, this is what I do. I literally get up and I stretch and I do leg exercises. There's certain things I do. And then. And then maybe I move into eating breakfast, right? And then I do like to have in my own space. I sometimes draw proverbs in my notebook. I have a remarkable.
Tim Pecoraro [:Or I do journal the things down and I catch those moments. But sometimes my routine isn't always at the same time. I just get the nudge to do it throughout my day because I am one of those people when sometimes when I lack the motivation to do it and I do have the discipline to still do it, I lack the presence to do it. And so when it comes to meaningful journaling, sometimes, rather than me just journaling and just to journal, I want it to still be meaningful and I want to be present with it. So what I try to do is I try to not lock myself down and say, I must do it at this time. Because for my type of personality and who I am, as long as I'm doing it within the day, that is where my freedom is. And that's what I need to be able to truly be present with the thing that I'm doing as it relates to, like meditation, journaling, quiet time. And then also, here's another action.
Tim Pecoraro [:Here's some rationale behind it. Like your work ritual, right? So I have a work ritual. I have a full worksheet, which I'm going to get. I'll get this posted on social media where you can see this is what my week looks like. And then I also have just a daily task list. That's it. And then I just have my remarkable tablet. And those of you who can see on screen if you're watching, this is what I have in my hand, my remarkable, maybe I'll talk, I'm going to talk about that.
Tim Pecoraro [:I'm going to start talking about some of my favorite things. And so I will do something on remarkable. And no, I am not paid to endorse them in any way, shape or form. I just tell people about things that work. All right, so you, I, that's what I do. So now that I know that I can go to bed, I can wake up the next day, and I can already step into what I need to do. I don't have to conjure up anything. I don't have to do anything.
Tim Pecoraro [:The only thing I do is I look at it. And now because of that, I'm already set to start work. I can, my desk is already in order. So why don't you clean your desk off before you leave so when you come in, it's already set. And if you want a messy desk, that's great. Just organize your messes. Okay. So then like a to do list, make a simple to do list.
Tim Pecoraro [:Also a listening or motivational stuff. I have been having fun with using Siri on my, with my playlist stuff because it's been, Siri's been creating my playlist. I've been telling it what I want and I'm taking advantage of it. I've been listening, obviously, to music for years and years and years. I'm one of those that have the original iPhone and the original iPod. Like, so I've been doing this a long time and I love it. And so I've got some incredible lists and I have work from home. I've got it when I'm at my desk.
Tim Pecoraro [:I'm at my desk. When I'm sharing space with other people, I've got like, so it's cool. I've got afternoon, I've got sunset, I've got Saturday midday. Like, I'm making stuff and I'm having fun, but that's all the stuff that helps me with my routine. I can put my headphones on. I can rock and roll. Why? I know my work week looks like I know what I'm doing today. Three big things daily that I got to get done to move forward and make progress, and I got my way to move forward.
Tim Pecoraro [:Things that energize me, to keep me going. But I have the discipline at the core through my routine. Second step is to break the things that you've got to do into smaller things. Right. So sometimes the overwhelm or the procrastination is. It just seems like it's going to take a long time. Everything takes a long time when all you do is think about it. That's all.
Tim Pecoraro [:I mean, it's going to take a long time. Meaning when you think about it, doesn't seem like it takes a long time, but it's going to take a long time because all you're doing is thinking about it. You're thinking about the thing that you need to do, and you're trying to come up with reasons that you're not supposed to do it, you shouldn't do it. You start questioning yourself why you should do it and all that stuff, and that all should have been answered because it should have never been in your notebook in the first place, should have never been on your schedule in the first place. So maybe that's a different conversation you need to have if you want to build better discipline and you're trying to do your job every day. You're trying to establish a routine and ritual for life and for work. And you, you, you do that. Then you're trying to break down your tasks and things you do.
Tim Pecoraro [:But then you notice things are on your list that you don't feel any motivation to. You're trying to figure out how you're tied to those things. Then perhaps you need to sit down and start looking at the things that you're doing and why you're doing them. So that's a sidebar, but back into the rationale here for breaking things down into manageable stuff. So your large things that you got to do, they're overwhelming, and they will naturally demotivate you. They just feel big. You could be up to the challenge. You can be competitive, but you also know you're in for the fight.
Tim Pecoraro [:Wouldn't it be great if you could break it down into a smaller thing, into a manageable thing? Breaking down the fight is still the fight, but you're coming at it differently. You're making it more achievable you know, it's like if I'm going to learn to play another team in a sport, whether it's football or like soccer, and there's eleven opposing players on the other side, I want to not only know them, but I want to break them down. I want to break them down into assignments and into groups. The same thing with the offense, same thing. If I'm in soccer and it's a formation, I want to do the same thing. I want to break it down. Right? So here's the action behind it. What's a micro thing to do? So divide the main thing that you're trying to do into smaller sub things.
Tim Pecoraro [:It's that simple. And then focus on completing just one, one at a time. And progress is progress. And then track it. Use a visual tool, like a checklist. I mean, you can use a little grid squared notebook and just write in it. Just, it's a notebook with grids in it, and you just write down what is the thing and then the grids are your days and then you can track it. It's not hard.
Tim Pecoraro [:I mean, there's simple things that you can do and use, and if you want to use a digital form of it, there's, trust me, there's an app for it. So step one is you get a routine going. Step two, break it down into small, manageable step. Step three, you want to focus on the action and not the feeling like this is the thing. So when you wait to feel motivated, okay, that pretty much is your gateway and open door for procrastination. It's just like procrastination. I'm sure if it could talk, it's still wondering. While people are surprised that they have been living with them, it's because they literally, because you're waiting for a feeling.
Tim Pecoraro [:You're waiting. It's like waiting for the world to change, but yet you do nothing yourself. So taking action, even when you don't feel like it, it's going to help you build momentum. And that's something I did in podcasts back. And we'll, maybe we'll get in the show notes or maybe in one of the social posts. Just going back to remembering how you build momentum, the importance of momentum. Why momentum? You need momentum in your life, because if you build momentum, it's going to help. When you build the momentum, then that's going to create motivation.
Tim Pecoraro [:It's that electric charge, it's building up that static and that energy that's going to help you to get going. Everything gets energized that excitement, it's like when you eat and you're, you know, not like when you know, but when, you know, you've been hungry and it's been one of those days, and it's one of those where it doesn't just satisfy you because you were hungry, but then all of a sudden you feel fueled because it was the right stuff. That's what we're looking for. We're looking for doing that all day and focusing on what the action is that we're doing and not the feeling of it, but so because we do that action and we prioritize that and we. We get ourselves into that, we build that momentum, we focus that way, and that momentum helps us to create the motivation. So here's the actions. Try to give yourself, like, a two minute rule. Could be a five minute, I don't know, whatever it is.
Tim Pecoraro [:So commit to working on a task for just two minutes, five minutes, ten minutes. It's like writing 2510, whatever you want to do. So starting is just going to be your hard part. But once you're engaged, it can actually create the momentum that we talked about that gets going. I started a book the other day. I wasn't sure I was going to get into it. It's a book been waiting on. I opened the book and I even had to ask my.
Tim Pecoraro [:I said to my wife, I said, hey, did. I mean, I literally spent the entire day reading the book. Like, I read the book, but I hadn't done it a lot. I mean, it's just been a long time since I just sat and read a book all day. Anyways, the book was amazing, but it was just one of those things that, you know, I just went all into, you know, and. But I started by going, I'm just going to read a little bit. That's what happened. So be ready.
Tim Pecoraro [:That once you take yourself and have the discipline of just read, just read. And then eventually, sometimes it can go a little further, and then you. One day you get captivated and it moves you well beyond. So also this self compassion, part of focus on action and not feeling. Acknowledge your feelings without judging them and remind yourself that it's okay to not feel motivated all the time. And that's. And I want to. This is just something I want to kind of elevate here in this moment.
Tim Pecoraro [:You may be at work and you feel unmotivated by work. Don't blame the job. Don't blame the people. Don't say, am I doing the wrong thing? Instead, why don't you get back to just looking at what about is, what about this? You know, is contributing to how I feel? Is there, are there other sources? Are there other areas in my life? Do I feel this way everywhere? Is it just here? Like, just work on really getting into things before you start judging everything. I was working with a team yesterday, and one of the things that I said to them was, you got a person who is in a meeting and they're all having a meeting, and they're asking for someone. They're constantly asking if this person can make decisions, but they're putting that person on the spot in meetings. That person does not do well having to answer those. And they'll always put it and table it and say, we'll get back to you.
Tim Pecoraro [:And sometimes they always get back to them, but sometimes it might be later than what they needed. It needed to be sooner. And so that person walks away feeling like this person who's a leader, running this business, a business owner, has done well in their life. I know they can give answers. They've obviously been making answers all this time, or making decisions and giving answers and making decisions this whole entire time in order to get here. Why are they not answering me? What's wrong with me? So that person has that mindset, and then the person who runs the business, owns the business, is sitting there thinking, why does that person constantly put me on the spot? And it creates a rub, but neither of them are telling what is the problem? So instead of the person when they've been asking, hey, I'm not getting what I need when I need it, and I don't understand, can you help me understand why it always seems it takes a while to make decisions, and then instead of the other person going, hey, can I talk to you for a minute? Hey. So I know when you ask me that and you're looking for these, and we've missed opportunities to be timely in these. And a lot of it is because I get overwhelmed and I don't do so well without having to process and think about those things.
Tim Pecoraro [:I mean, that literally fixes so much just by doing that, but because of it, how a person's feeling, they become demotivated and lack the discipline to go and have conversations like that. Because our experience typically goes like that. We walk around with all these assumptions and we create these judgments, and we assign a judgment to something on a feeling that we have instead of finding out where that's coming from. Hopefully that made a little sense to you, but it's okay to not feel motivated all the time. And I want you to focus on the actions that you can do instead of trying to look for a feeling. So for me, in discipline, in my strange relationship with it, one of the things I've been doing to really help myself improve in that area of discipline and to do it, um, I feel consistently that's another part in order to get disciplined, which I think I'm going to do more parts on this, but to move past the need to feel motivated, here's what I've done, and this is the one, two, three to wrap up. So the first one for me to move past the need to feel motivated is, number one, I'm going to set my clear goals and my deadline. In other words, I'm going to have specific goals, specific deadlines, even if it's for conversations with people, I'm going to do my best.
Tim Pecoraro [:If it's I'm supposed to do something with someone, I'm supposed to meet someone, I'm trying to do better at that. And then that's going to provide a sense of purpose and urgency. It'll make it easier for you to take action when you don't feel motivated. The second thing is the accountability. So tell somebody. Share goals with a colleague, a friend, a mentor, a coach, someone you're accountable to and with. And then do regular check ins so that they can provide a little bit of the external motivation and support for your discipline when you don't have the motivation. And then the third is a reward system, and this is a good one.
Tim Pecoraro [:Create a reward system for yourself. Celebrate small wins and give yourself something to look forward to after completing all your tasks. It's simple. One, set clear goals and deadlines. Two, accountability. Three, reward system. Let me tell you something. Discipline, believe it or not, wants to be your reliable friend.
Tim Pecoraro [:So take time to work on it, think it through, and remember, every day is an opportunity for you to make the choice, to choose to be friends with discipline rather than rely on the friendship of motivation or the ever elusive thing called motivation. So until next time, we'll talk soon.
