The Risk Factor Doing Hard-Best

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:00:11

Welcome to Planck Pages, the podcast. A podcast for people who appreciate the new beginnings of a clean slate, but strive for the courage, willingness, curiosity, and creativity available only on the blank pages of new possibilities. It's the potential to move beyond and move forward, where people are willing to make new decisions, decisions from a fresh perspective and are ready to write in a much better way. So the world is waiting, and I'm just here to tell you that nothing is going to listen better than a blank piece of paper. So, hey. Hey. Welcome to the show. This is episode 17, and I am your host, Tim Peguero.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:00:52

Just so glad to be with you. Thank you for sharing the time that you do share with me, those who listen in. So thank you. I appreciate it very much. I appreciate all of it, all of your time and the attention, and I love the feedback that I'm getting. And I am starting, which I'm, right now I'm on, this is my second time doing this, and I'm on camera, so I'm just kind of low key doing the podcast. I'll do that in different locations and areas that I am and where I do my work, there's two areas in particular. I'll be working regular basis.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:01:28

But other than that, yeah, I'm just looking forward to adding the video into this as well. So, because I'll be able to show things, and I'm going to be adding in some, some whiteboard, virtual boards and things like that in the future. So, anyways, welcome to the show, but I have some big news, and I've talked about it. So right now, holding in my hand those of you cannot see, I am holding my first book, Flit learns to fly, of some children's books that I'm going to be writing. And actually, this book came out before the book, hopefully, that I am writing, that will come at the end of the year, which is. Well, I wrote this one, too, but that's a. It's the big book. It's the, it's my nonfiction, a book that's gonna help people grow and learn and just know more about themselves and discover more about themselves and celebrate all about themselves.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:02:17

But I take a lot of things that I do and I've turned them into, or that I speak about and working with adults, and I say, what if we take some of those and we put them into books for kids, right? Because I heard it said years back, and it was from Truett, Kathy from that family and the chick fil a family. But, you know, the reason they do what they do, it's because it's better to. To build into young people, build into young men and women, add to them, help them build into their lives. That's so much better than to have to mend a bunch of older people, right? And adults. And so we all have a need for mending at times, but sometimes the mending is unnecessary, right? It's stuff that we get ourselves into that we shouldn't be into. So. But here's the book. Um, it's, uh.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:03:03

I mean, I'm so excited. Illustrated by a young woman who's about to hopefully going to college one day for art. But her name is Jade Harmon. This book is for sale in our bookshop. You will be able to go to my bio link and blank pages, my publication. So we are partnering with a publisher who will put my books on demand, and that's what we're doing. So anyways, go to, if you're on Instagram, go to Tim or Impeccarararo and then go to my bio area and you'll be able to click and go right to. And buy a look.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:03:35

Buy the books right now, ready to go. You can buy the book. So if you buy one, you know, they will send that out to you. And I'm going to have some cool things coming up with it. I'm working on the audio for the book as well. It's going to be a little short four minute read. But anyways, I'm so pumped up about it. So with that, I'm just.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:03:51

And this was basically what we're talking about is doing hard stuff, right? It's. It's easy good or hard best. And that's what I'm continuing on in this series. And this right here is part of my hard best in my life. So I'm going to get into this. So that was my big news on that, this book. Oh, man. Anyways, just grab one.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:04:09

Grab one for kids. And yes, it's got some pretty, it's got some big words in there, and that's great because kids, you know, they're not there. Kids can use bigger vocabulary and they can learn more, and we can teach them to have words that have meaning and worth, and we can help them that when they can, we can connect young people to words that are a little bit bigger. It also helps to open up their, their eyes and their minds to more things. It gets them to think bigger. So simple is great to learn and get the understanding, but then from there, wisdom gets to show up on understanding and can really take one little word and create more of a universe with it by connecting it to other in words that are bigger than that one. So any. Anyhow, let's keep moving.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:04:53

So grab a copy. I would love for you to share it with some other people, if you would. Here it is. Flit learns to fly. You can get it at my bookshop. Also. It'll be shipping from Amazon soon, I think it's July 12. So if you do go to Amazon, you will be able to find the book there on Amazon, which is really, really cool.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:05:13

So it. But it won't ship until July 12, I believe, or the 15th. However, you can pre order the book. So. Yeah. Episode 17, we're going to get better at doing hard things. I said in the beginning, you have a choice between easy good and hard best. That was last week, and I kind of broke that down with a definition.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:05:33

So what I want to do is I want to do hard things better. I want us to do hard things well. I want us to do hard things without delaying. I want us to do hard things with courage. I want us to do hard things with confidence. I want to do hard things in a manner that builds your character. Right. It builds character and it positions.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:05:54

It positions you with a new perspective on things where you can look at things different. It gives you opportunity to be set in front of better opportunities. Right. That few people will ever see. Why? Because they will not run the risk of putting themselves in a situation where hard best is required. I mean, it's that simple. So I want to kind of push that out more. I want to help us get into this, and I promise it won't take long in doing so.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:06:26

But I have a few ideas I want to unpack more. Right. I want to get into this hard best. What am I mean by it? So what am I saying by the hard best? Let's just go there again. What does Tim mean? What is Tim saying? What am I saying? What am I supposed to believe when I hear you saying doing the hard things and hard things best, right. And that they can put you, you ready in front of. So by doing those things, it puts you in front of correct events, situations, people and opportunities, you name it. And what I mean is, when you do hard best according to things that are in alignment with your value, with what you understand, your value is your worth, what goes along with the things that you believe, things that you know to be true down to your core, and you do the hard best in that it's going to now help you to get in line or in front of the correct events.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:07:21

Not the other ones. Those are there. They're correct for the time that you're in them. They're your, they're your challenge. They're the thing that you have to work through. It's. It's what you're going to use to build your muscle. Right.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:07:32

And you're going to be able to get in front of now because we're passing through those things, you're going to be put in front of correct events, situations, people, opportunities, you name it. So, and I'll talk about this in a couple of episodes later, but, you know, I mentioned the book by Ryan Holiday, the obstacle is the way. But I want to say another way. What are the obstacles like? It's the way, but the doorway, the conduit, the pathway, it's the window, it's the. It's the best point of entry. However you want to see it, view the obstacle as the necessary thing for you to do the hard best and to get to where you would like to be. You need it. You need the obstacle so hard best.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:08:16

Let's redefine that again. Let me. Or not redefine it, but let me tell you the definition I gave last week as we move into this deeper part of the hard best stuff. So what is hard best? It's the deliberate engagement and challenging, effortful activities for growth. So you have to put effort into it to grow learning and leadership despite easier options. So even though there are easier options you choose, you deliberately engage in the challenging, the effort, full activity for your growth in your learning and leadership. Despite the easier option. It prioritizes long term improvement over immediate ease, embracing uncertainty and stepping out of your comfort zone.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:08:57

What else does it do? It focuses hard best focuses on pioneering, mastering self discipline and crafting accessible solutions. Viewing challenges as your opportunities for personal and your communal advancement. Now contrast that with the definition. I'm going to give you one on this easy good. Right? There's no easy best, it's just easy good. So easy good is opting for the past, the path of least resistance, for immediate comfort, convenience and risk of violence or avoidance. Sorry, not violence of avoidance. Sorry.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:09:38

Your risk of births. So it's opting again for the path of least resistance, for immediate comfort, convenience and risk avoidance. You want to avoid it. You don't want anything to come near you. And yeah, that was like a little slip. You don't want to risk violence. Right? Because going through things can feel that way. A violent episode, something difficult.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:10:03

So easy good prefers familiar, comfortable and minimal challenges motivated by quick wins and avoidance of failure. I literally had a coaching call with someone prior to this episode and I was talking to them with that. And they avoid anything that could potentially lead to failure that they possibly can. And in avoiding it, they prepare to avoid it in case the avoidance doesn't work. When you do easy good, it limits your personal growth and resilience, offering short term satisfaction, but potentially hindering your meaningful success. So in order to do this episode, well, I think I want to give you like a thesis, right? I want to give you my thesis statement for this episode. Okay. And it's around hard best and an idea.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:10:51

So here's what it is. You ready? And this is what we're going to focus on. Individuals who dare, right, this hard best thing. Individuals who dare to tackle difficulties are more likely to lead in innovation, understand deeper truths, develop wisdom, forge stronger relationships. Despite the inherent risks and the potential for failure, the lessons learned from setbacks are invaluable to them, fueling greater life fulfillment, professional success and community influence. So, wow, that's like hard best. So that is the hard best. The role of risk taking is what I want to bring up today.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:11:37

Hard best, the role of taking a risk in you ready relationships, expanding on how it contributes to the deeper connections and stronger bonds. So that's what I want to do. I want to get into this contribution part that when you do, you tackle the difficulty. Right. You're going to lead in the innovation. There's innovation in relationship, right. There's understanding the deeper truths in relationship. You can deepen the relationship, you can get deeper wisdom and develop wisdom inside the relationship.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:12:05

You can foster a stronger relationship, you can. Despite the inherent risks and potential failure, you could still move forward. But you have to understand that that is you. You've got to want the hard best in order for that to be true. Hard best. Right, that's, this is the hard best we're gonna get into the role of risk taking so that we can expand on this. We gotta, we gotta grow this thing. And there are areas that we'll cover.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:12:31

So over the next several weeks, we'll just hit on them. This is the side, this is the personal side. This is the me, myself and I. Right? So for you, it's the same for your you. It's the you, the you yourself and I like, that's, that's the thing. So you've gotta do that for yourself. You've gotta say, this starts with me, hard best starts with me. And then from there it'll go into those relationships.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:12:52

Relationships. It'll connect with them and this is the you part of connecting to the relationships. That's what I'm doing today. It's going to have you and how you can now reach out for what your, your receptacle or your prongs to plug in. However you want to view the connection. If it's the baton and it's the embrace, if it's the how you. How you. How you intertwine, however you view your connection with people, this is how I want to help you get connected.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:13:16

So it's the hard best that we're going to focus on also in the professional world and your and societal outside that. But I want to. I want to start by saying hard best is important. Because even if you just think about from a business standpoint, right, even if you think about people trying things from Thomas Edison and a light bulb, or how about Sir James Dyson, right? I think. I think it was. He went through like 5126 prototypes over 15 years before creating this successful diet. The Dyson vacuum cleaner, right? Showcasing what his perseverance and innovation bring from failure. He failed that many times.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:13:57

Most people would have never gone that many times. Most people would never start and do that again. So in order for us to really kind of COVID this and get into it well and do it well, I need you to understand that, that risk taking, you have to understand there's an essence to it, there's a core to it, just like a seed. There's. You squeeze the seed, you get the essence, you get what's out of it. So what's the essence, risk taking essence? Well, it's not just the potential for loss. That's not the essence of it, but it's the doorway for opportunity and growth. Right.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:14:31

That's what I want you to look at. So this, the first point of view I want you to see is in order for me to do hard best and understanding that hard best in relation to risk taking so that I can myself be a person who's able to have in myself this ability, this mindset to do hard things, right. Because I want to grow, I want to be innovative and stuff. I want to be successful, I want to deepen relationships. All of that. I have to understand that risk is more about the doorway to the opportunity and growth, not so much about the potential for the loss. So you have to understand there's a psychological benefit as well. So I'm going to bring up a word and what we're going to do is we're going to wrap up with this, but this is the concept of what's called Eustress.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:15:19

And I got so excited about this that I literally kind of, you know, I made some changes to this podcast before I recorded because of. I wanted to focus in on this Eustress. Right. So this concept under the essence, right. This is the essence of risk taking. I talk about that. It's more about the. For me, it's a doorway to the opportunity and growth, not so much about the potential for loss.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:15:41

Yes, I know they're both true, but I put the emphasis on the one about opportunity and loss. I don't put it on the potential for loss because I do not want to try to do my life and try to do the things that I believe are important or they align with a value or purpose or the reason I'm even here. I'm trying to do the hard best. Meaning, even if that means you have to delay gratification, whatever it is, do the hard best in order to get to where you want to be. Right. That's what you want to do. So you have to define that as the opportunity. It's a doorway to opportunity.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:16:14

When I say no to something, I want it to be a doorway opportunity. When I say yes, I want it to be a doorway to opportunity, and I want it to be when it's hard to do those things. I still want to exercise my ability to understand. It's a doorway to opportunity and possible growth. But here's this concept of Eustress. This is the psychological benefit of that, that. You ready? Eustress is the positive stress. Listen to this.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:16:40

Positive stress that comes from challenging oneself, which can lead to higher levels of life satisfaction and personal development. What? Are you kidding me? So, Eustress, it's not a chemical, but listen. Eustress is the positive stress that comes from challenging oneself. It is the result of challenging yourself. Eustress, I'm even thinking about getting a t shirt on there. Hey, if you're listening to this podcast, I want you to go ahead and I'll have to come up with something, but I want you to tag me on Instagram or. Yeah, just go on Instagram or wherever you're watching, you know, and tag me. But tagustress.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:17:25

And what is the positive stress that you're getting from challenging yourself? I want you to tell me what it is. Put it out there in the world. You at Tim Pecoro, you could use hashtag, hashtag Eustress, and then say what your challenge is. Okay. Or something like that. So, I mean, this isn't so important to me, this essence of this risk I'm looking at this essence of risk taking. I'm looking at it as it relates to doing the hard best. I'm looking at it to doing the hard best better.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:17:57

The hard best. Well, the hard best without delay. The hard best. Often the hard best. First I choose to go ahead and put myself in the situation in order to grow and you're going to learn from it. And so I'm not going to go into all the other parts of the learning of all this. We'll save that for later episode. I want to build on this and this is the part where I'm kind of moving out of it.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:18:22

But I want to focus on this Eustress thing again and just stay there. I want to stay on Eustress. And here's the thing. If that is something that I can have, if Eustress. If there is a psychological benefit to Eustress, that it's positive stress that comes from challenging myself, which can lead to a higher level of life satisfaction and personal development. Can I get more of that? And how do you make it? Like, where does that come from? How do you make that? Like, do you, do you, can you mix it up? Like, what do you do? There's got to be a way to get some of that. I want some eustress. I want a t shirt.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:19:01

Eustress. Eustress. I'm going to start using that. I like that. Eustress, how do you. Eustress. So, Eustress, it's often described you ready as positive stress. It refers to the beneficial stress that motivates, focuses energy and improves your performance.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:19:26

So, Eustress, this is, it's described, right, positive stress, the beneficial stress that motivates a beneficial stress that will motivate focus energy and improve performance, unlike you. Ready distress. So you have Eustress. Distress. Distress, which can have negative effects on one's health, well being. Eustress is considered the positive response to stressors. So you get a stressor and you have a positive response to it. It's a positive response to a stressor that leads to you ready feelings of fulfillment.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:20:02

So you have a positive response to a stressor that leads to feeling fulfilled, excitement and satisfaction. Who doesn't want more of that? Who? Anyone want more? Eustress, raise your hand. I do. I want more Eustress. Okay, so it's important because you ready? This is why Eustress is important. It plays a crucial role in helping individuals ready cope with their challenges and pressures in a way that can promote personal growth, enhance their resilience and improve their overall, overall psychological health. I mean, that's pretty cool. Eustress can stimulate individuals to overcome obstacles in ready.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:20:50

In both personal and development. Sorry. In personal development and success. So it makes it, it's an essential elevator, this thing right now, because of what Eustress is, what it does, it's an essential element for your personal development and success. That is what you need. You understand? I need Eustress. In order for me to have, if I want Eustress, I have to get into stressors. If I'm going to get into some stressors, some of those stressors are going to require me to do the hard best.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:21:23

To do the hard best, it means I have to let go of easy good, and if I'm going to let go of easy good, to do the hard best, it means I'm going to take a risk and these are going to get uncomfortable. So let's work toward making a better case. Okay. I'm just going to make a little, I want to kind of wrap this up with a, with a better case as to, as to the advantages, right? I want the advantages you have when you are doing your hard best. And remember I made that statement, right? That individuals, this was my thesis statement that individuals who dare to tackle difficulties are more likely to lead in innovation, understand deeper truths, develop wisdom and forge stronger relationships despite inherent risks and potentials for failure. Then their lessons that they learn from the setbacks are going to be invaluable and it's what fuels their greater life fulfillments and their professional success and their community influence. Okay, so it starts with that, that eustress, not distress, Eustress, the positive Eustress. Eustress that manifests in situations, right? It'll manifest when you see the situation, when you perceive it as challenging yet achievable.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:22:38

So Eustress will manifest in a situation that you see or perceive as challenging but yet achievable. These situations are going to require you to stretch your abilities, but, but you ready? But they're not so overwhelming that they cause significant anxiety or distress. So you're gonna stress your ability, but it's within your capability. It's in there. It's not like saying, I need you to get in there and play one, one on one with co, with, I don't know, Steph Curry. So you're not doing one to one with Steph Curry one on one. You're not getting out there. Play 21 with him.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:23:21

That's not how it is. So that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about something that you can do now. If you're a baller, go do it. But if you're not, that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about things that are within your capability now, you may be struggling with it. That's where hard best is necessary. So it's going to require you to know that you can do it.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:23:38

So the perception of the situation now has to become that. You see it as what? An opportunity for your growth rather than a threat. That is key to experiencing your eustress. You have to see it as an opportunity, not a threat. So the positive stress can arise from these various scenarios. Think about it. It can happen even when you take on a new job. Yes, you can get Eustress.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:24:00

It doesn't have to be distress can be Eustress from learning a new skill. You can get it from engaging. You ready in competitive sports. I coach a team. We're playing a region team tonight, and my team has not won a region game in four years. And this is my first year taking over this team. And my goal is we have a region player team tonight. And I'm telling my team, you can win.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:24:24

It's doable. So here's the opportunity for them to get some Eustress. Learning a new skill, engaging in competitive sports. How about facing tight deadlines for achievable goals now, don't put yourself on the edge of all the time. The being stressed out. That's different. You're not inviting Eustress. You're inviting distress.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:24:40

When you deliberately procrastinate and put things off and say, I work better under pressure. Well, you tell that to your heart when you're older. You tell that to the people who get burned with your bad day because you think you're doing Eustress. But instead it's distress and you're harming everyone around you. Let that talk to you. But let me simplify. Eustress. Okay, let's make it simple.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:25:04

Think of Eustress. You ready? Like the excitement you feel when you're riding a roller coaster. You don't ride a roller coaster. Think of something that's exciting, that you, that you do, and you're riding a roller coaster. And the roller coaster represents a challenge or a stressor. Riding is not something you have to do, but you choose to because you know it's safe and you can handle it. So the thrill and excitement you feel are like Eustress. They're positive feelings because you, you see the experience as enjoyable and within your ability to actually handle, depending on the roller coaster.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:25:39

Now imagine in your body's response to this excitement, your heart beats faster. You might feel a rush of energy. This is similar to the body's chemical response during Eustress situations. Just as a roller coaster ride is thrilling and leaves you feeling energized and happy, guess what? Eustress in life motivates you and improves your performances without causing ready harm or distress. It's a type of stress that ready, instead of wearing you down, actually builds you up and it makes you ride, makes you. It makes the ride or makes you take that ride and your task or your challenge and embrace it. Something like you're more excited about. Something that you're ready to tackle.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:26:30

So if you can grasp that, I'm going to give you a way to cultivate it and I'm going to put these in the show notes. And here they are. There are six ways to cultivate that if you want more Eustace in your life. What I just talked about, here's how you do it. Number one, you need a positive mindset. You got to view challenges and opportunities for growth and learning. That's what they are. These challenges, they're opportunities.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:26:54

It's for growth and learning. It's not a threat, it's not there to destroy you. You gotta. It's a mind shift. It's crucial for transforming potential stressors into sources of your eustrous. The second is achievable challenges. They're tasks and goals that should stretch your individual ability without being so difficult that they become unmanageable. That's how you cultivate eustrous in your life.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:27:19

The third is control and autonomy. Having a sense of. Of control right over your actions and decisions will foster your Eustress. When you feel you can influence the outcome of a situation, you're more likely to experience positive stress. So what's in your control? So, number one, positive mindset. Number two, achievable challenges. Number three, control and autonomy. Number four, supportive environment.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:27:48

Social support from friends, family, your colleagues. It enhances the experience of Eustress by providing encouragement as a resource. Five is physical and mental preparedness. Being in good physical and mental health can help individuals better handle their stressors, turning these potential distress into Eustress. Number six, mindfulness and stress management. A way to manage your own stress, right, so you can, you know, I pray, I believe in prayer, I believe in being still. I believe in quieting yourself and not just asking, but opening up and looking and what's in you. And when I pray, I pull it out and I look at it and say, this is what's in me, right.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:28:42

And I want to work with. I want to work on it, I want to change it, I want to help it and what do I need to do, right, but that's one way. So. But you can meditate, you can do deep breathing, you can have regular physical activity, is going to be helpful, but it can help you maintain healthy stress level. Right. It can help you manage that, but it can also encourage the perception of stressors as manageable and potentially beneficial as well. So you can teach yourself that this stress is manageable and by releasing the shoestras. So, number one, positive mindset.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:29:18

Number two, achievable challenges. Number three, control and autonomy. Number four, supportive environment. Number five, physical and mental preparedness. And number six is mindfulness and stress management technique. So this, if you do this, I believe it's going to help you foster an environment in your home, your life inside yourself. If it's at work where Eustress is, not only it manifests, but it flourishes. You can make Eustress, like a major part of your life.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:29:52

And I hope that you'll do that. I hope that you will take the time to, I don't know, dig into what it is you want that positive stress for, to help you do the hard thing and to do the hard thing better, to do the hard thing well, to work. Do the hard thing without delay. To do the hard thing often. To do the hard thing first. Get that Eustress. Embrace that challenge. Step into it.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:30:26

It's manageable. You can do it. You can do it. I believe in you. I hope that you'll take that time. Sit down, write it out. How do I build that Eustress? Listen back to this episode, review the show notes, and of course, if there's any time that you have a question or anything, you can always send me a DM on Instagram. I'm also on LinkedIn if you want to find me.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:30:48

Same name, Tim Pecoraro. And. But I appreciate all of you. And also, don't forget about flit learns to fly. A great book for young people as well as adults. So thank you so much for your time today. Thank you for listening. And until next time, we'll talk soon.