We Still Want "Certainty" (Applying A Hypothesis to Core Human Needs)

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:00:10

Well, hello. Hello. And welcome to today's episode of blank pages, the podcast. I'm your host, Tim Pecoraro, and I'm glad you're here joining me as we continue on in this journey of building our lives daily to be better people. I've been saying a lot. It's that hashtag Better at being human, and I hope that many of you can, work on that. Use that hashtag. I know I'm working on it.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:00:41

But I wanna thank everyone for listening and recommending the show to others, and I want you to feel free to share, rate, review the show as well Connect with me on Instagram. That's at Tim Pecoraro, and check out the link in the bio to subscribe to the email that I will begin sending out monthly at the end of the month, I believe, or the 1st of the next, with just a summary of all the episodes and resources I may put gather, and then just share them. So I'm not gonna be bombarding you with more emails and stuff, with offers and all this other stuff, which they're great. But, I mean, eventually, may put something in there here or there, but it's just to keep you connected, share information, and invite you into things that, I may be doing or I may have heard of BL know and want to share. Right? I just wanna pass it along. So, that's what we're gonna do. So, thank you, and I hope that you will join that. And and I love interactions.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:01:35

I love communicating with people. If you have a question, don't be afraid to DM or ask a question. Or if there's something that I can help you do or connect you to, hey. I love doing that and trying to be useful and add value too. So today's episode, this is episode 7, and, I'm naming this, I believe. We still want Certainty. Right? We want certainty. We want to be certain that the things that we say that we believe that, you know, they're they're true.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:02:02

They're real. They're gonna work. How do we know? Right? Well, typically, we don't know until we get there, but wouldn't it be great if we could just start off a little better? That we could Start by, I don't know, moving in the right direction, and and then figuring things out as we go or solving the problems as we go, BL just knowing that we're on the right track. So I wanna pick up with what we were doing last week and applying a belief hypothesis 2, the core human needs. Right? And I think I'm gonna focus on 6 of them. So we know Maslow's hierarchy of needs, it's a big one. But I love one that Tony Robbins uses, the 6 core hierarchy of needs or the 6 core human needs, and I really think they make a lot of sense. And, and that's where I learned a lot of that from, but, man, it's been helpful.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:02:50

So to set it up, let me ges Start by saying this. Imagine for a moment you're on a road trip, and you're navigating with a map, let's just say, from your middle school or your high school years. And this map was once a reliable guide, and it's now outdated. Its routes no longer reflecting the world as it is today. So now for me, that would have been in the eighties. Right? And so I was making road trips when I was driving using atlases and maps. I was leaving from Connecticut going up into New England, and I would go watch you know, go to Foxborough Stadium. And and and I saw that's the first time I saw you too was Drove up there with friends, and this was the Joshua Tree tour.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:03:30

And it was amazing, but we used maps. And then I drove from Connecticut to Florida, And I did that several times and, I mean, doing that in one drive. Right? Just stopping to use the bathroom because you don't know any better. But, man, you're just Driving. You don't know where everything is. There's not all this guiding stuff, but you had a map. Right? And that's what you use. But since then, the highways have changed.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:03:51

There are new roads that have been built and old paths, advantage bridges, all kinds of stuff, different ways things turn and go. This is much like the journey that we take in our minds as we grow and evolve. Our beliefs and our understanding are formed in the past, And they were formed in the past, and they were accurate for that time, a lot of them. There were very healthy beliefs that were very, very accurate, Or they just need their foundational, and they needed stuff added to it. Well, the thing is is what did we add to it? Right? What types of things show up? You can't just like, They can't control everything they do their selves. They do themselves, a favor by creating rules that say, hey. You have to take care of properties, take care of roads, like, all these things, and There there are ways to make things stay fit and healthy and and look beautiful and, roads and, their structure and All that stuff, it's just important, all that maintenance. Right? But when you ignore stuff and you create shortcuts and the next thing you know, people are driving through neighborhoods to avoid something else, These are the things that we also do in our lives.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:04:55

We take something that was true and tried and true, and then we begin to make variations, right, off of that. Obviously, in this example I'm using, we now use digital tools. Right? But I want to keep this going as it is inside of you, right, inside your map system. There are maps that you used in your early life in early stages of lives to navigate. But as you travel through the highways of your mind, you encounter these new experiences, new information, and new perspectives. This new knowledge is the updated map That we need to reframe our beliefs. No different than updating your phone. You need to update the map in your mind, ensuring that they're relevant and useful, Right? These maps, these these beliefs that they're helping you, and they're relevant and useful in your current life or context of your life.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:05:46

So in this episode, we're gonna explore the importance of revisiting and revising our mental maps. Just as a traveler Wouldn't rely on an outdated map to navigate new territories. We shouldn't rely on our old beliefs to guide us through the evolving landscapes of our lives. We need fresh information, current perspectives, and an openness to change. So that's as these like, that openness to change, it's the essential components. I would say When when we get fresh information and the new perspectives and this openness to change, then that is the essential component, I believe, for developing a growth mindset in order for us to go to the next level. So as we go in today, I hope you'll join in as we go into ways to update the mental maps, drawing Connections between our past beliefs and the new roads of information that are in front of us, that are before us right now in the Front the windshield in that direction moving forward. So we're gonna journey together.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:06:49

We're gonna embrace the changes and challenges and steer towards a path of continuous growth and understanding. NK? So let's do this because I believe, this type of understanding and embracing these the uncertainty that I know is in front of us at times, It's not just a challenge, but it's the opportunity for personal growth and development. So here's how we can navigate this path. So what I wanna do is give you this in 2 parts. So let's handling like, this is the part when it's handling the uncertainty in beliefs. Alright? And so there are 5 things that we're gonna do, And I'm just gonna list them out, and then I'm gonna pull a little story together to show how an individual, well, ges using a story, uses the This belief hypothesis to reframe, to get better with the uncertainty as they deal with the things that they need to work on regardless. So even if we're uncertain in our beliefs, we still need to work towards some sort of certainty that's gonna help us to take steps forward, and it's a challenge. So let's start there.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:07:51

Let's start with a simple way to help handle uncertainty and belief. So number 1, we need to understand and embrace the uncertainty. That's the first one. We have to recognize that uncertainty is an inherent part of our growth process. Learning to manage It effectively is crucial for personal development, and it's about embracing the unknown and finding comfort in it. Now that's odd, but it's so true. How do we embrace the unknown and find comfort? Well, the second is we have to build confidence in small steps. So number 1, understanding and embracing uncertainty.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:08:26

Number 2, building confidence in small steps. Begin with small, achievable steps or goals. Right? And then these goals then these steps, right, help build confidence in the ability or our own ability to influence outcomes and navigate the uncertainty. So the steps that we build are gonna help get confidence And our ability to influence. Now what is influence? Influence means you have the ability to speak into something. You have the ability to affect change or to to move something in a way, and you have that. Right? There are things that you have some influence over influence over, and they're around you in your life. That means they're in your control, And you can navigate that uncertainty with that.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:09:08

And then every small little victory is a step towards a greater self assurance. The third, developing a resilient growth mindset. You wanna cultivate a mindset that views challenges as Opportunities. I mean, that's it. This challenge is the opportunity. I like to say the challenge is the opportunity, the obstacle is the way, and pressure is Our privilege. Understand that our abilities and our comprehension can grow and adapt through Perseverance and facing the difficulties head on. Sometimes it's hard to have hard conversations, and I encourage P, don't include the world.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:09:50

Don't go tell everybody. Don't go trying to ruin somebody and something, and that happens in offices all the time. People tell everything on people, and they just need to stop. It's ges, And it's not their job to do that. It's people need to just focus on being an expert in their own life. Unless it has something to do with you, stay out of it. Because here's the thing. Most people are making snap judgments without all the decisions.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:10:13

And just because you you're closer to an individual in the Office that you hear things from and you think, well, I have no idea. I don't know why that wouldn't be true. Why why would why would well, because you don't know everything. It just happens, but that's you have to go through it. You have to be the person that no matter what, it's a challenge to get involved. It's a challenge not to, But persevere. Do the hard thing. Have the conversations.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:10:40

Talk directly with people. Do it in a kind, respectful way, but take that long walk down the short hallway. Whether it's at work, whether it's with friends, family, however, just have a conversation and look for especially if you want things to be better. The 4th is tools for resilience and anxiety management. You wanna introduce practical strategies to manage the anxiety that often accompanies uncertainty. Oh my goodness. Right? That is a lot right there. So, I mean, I think about exercise and things like that can help.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:11:11

I mean, believe it or not, for me, drinking lots of water, some tea, reading a book, and journaling are the things that have kept me away from Sometimes in the past where maybe I needed some sort of medicine to help me to relax or focus or whatever. And I don't judge people when they need those things. You know? It's part of a journey, and everyone's got their own thing. And it's okay, man. You're not broken because you need a little help. Right? There's nothing wrong with that. I mean, I'm a believer. I believe God helps me.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:11:39

I believe that, that there's a relationship you have with God, and And and and you have a savior in my world, and there's the holy spirit. There are these there are these, parts of my life in my spiritual realm that help me, but Then, also, I have relationships and friendships that are in there. So from the core level all the way coming out, what are the things that are gonna help me to, You know, be resilient and and deal with anxiety. Right? So I want to get a resilient growth mindset. I wanna make sure that I'm developing the right stuff so I can take things head on, but I also wanna be able to deal with the anxiety that often accompanies ease my uncertainty, and that's why I need the tools for resilience and anxiety management. This involves learning emotional regulation. Oh, man. How to get myself to relax and practicing mindfulness to maintain a a more balanced state of mind.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:12:36

And we can go deeper into these in the future, but there's so much you can look at. How to work on my emotions? How to regulate my emotions? Just do a simple Google search and start there. Look at sources like Psychology Today. Look up authors like, doctor Henry Cloud, who I believe brings a great balance to that type of stuff. Just just go find sources and start learning it. It's gonna be so valuable and so, rewarding when you invest in yourself in that way. And the 5th thing here under part 1 of handling uncertainty in beliefs is forming evidence based beliefs. So I'm going to encourage you form These beliefs that are grounded in evidence in personal experience.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:13:21

Now I mean healthy ones, not the ones that say, Every time I'm around this person, these bad things happen. Right? That's well, that's evidence to tell you maybe you ought to look at who you're hanging around. So that would still be a belief that I need to look at the relationships that I have and the people that I'm with, and I need to see if we're aligned and headed in the right direction. And I have enough Evidence now to build a belief that that is the way I do that moving forward based on my now I have a new belief that I'm gonna ground in, and this is based on my personal experience. This approach will foster a practical and adaptable belief system that will steer you away from rigid and unfounded ideas. Some people are stuck in rigid things. Some people don't know how to break away from the way other people are thinking. Some people only take on ideas.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:14:08

I see it in a lot of the movements, Especially in social settings. There are a lot of people that as me, as a minority, as a person who, in which I'll have an episode of that in the future talking about that, BL as a person who I don't even people I'm qualified for minority status, but people don't recognize me as that because I don't claim one thing over another. That is a rigid belief. People believe that I'm supposed to choose, And I choose all of me and not just a part of me. To me, it's a disservice to my mother to not claim her as much as I would my father and vice versa. So just keep that in mind. Make sure you're Steering away from rigid and unfounded ideas. Just be very careful.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:14:58

So now let's just get into how to apply these core needs. NK. So what did I give you as a layout to handling uncertainty beliefs? Number 1, understanding and embracing uncertainty. Number 2, you wanna build confidence in small steps. Number 3, develop a resilient growth mindset. And number 4, tools for resilience and anxiety management are gonna be needed. And number 5, you wanna form evidence based beliefs evidence based beliefs moving forward. Alright.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:15:27

So now let's apply these. And I'm gonna call this it's a story. I'm gonna use a person, named Maya, and this is a journey to fulfillment. And so I'm gonna take Maya's story and put it into the core needs so that I will show you a way to build a belief hypothesis in each of the needs using a story, and the message would be in each one. So There's a story. The story is this person, Maya, and all this stuff. Right? But what's the message? The message in how does she do these core human needs? There's gonna be the message part of it. The story is the story, but what's the takeaway and the message? So here we go.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:16:05

So in a bustling city, right, we'll just use that term, lived Maya, A young software developer, Maya's life was a series of routines, work, home, and the occasional coffee with friends. But beneath this veneer of normalcy, she felt something was amiss. 1 evening, while reflecting on On her her life, Maya stumbled upon a concept called belief hypothesis or the belief hypothesis. It proposed aligning one's actions with specific beliefs to enhance core human need. Intrigued, Maya decided to apply these principles to her life, and so this is what happened. Number 1, That need of, physiological and safety need. So here's what Maya did. Maya always lived Paycheck to paycheck, which caused her constant anxiety.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:16:59

She adopted the belief, managing my resources effectively will ensure my basic and safety needs are met. Not the one that she's been using in a framework that has been negative and keeping her where she is that was basically, I will never get ahead because I am terrible with my resources. So instead, she's adopted the belief managing my resources effectively will ensure my basic and safety needs are met. She created a budget because of that, started saving, and soon the financial stress that clouded her life began to lift. The 2nd core human need, love and belonging. Despite her busy life, Maya felt lonely remembering the hypothesis. By nurturing relationships and engaging in communities, I can enhance my sense of belonging and emotional well-being. She reached out to old friends and joined a local book club.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:17:54

Gradually, a sense of belonging and connectedness filled her life. The third, esteem and self actualization. And this is huge. I mean, they all are big, but this is big. I see this in coaching all the time. Maya was good at her job BL never felt fulfilled. She recalled self esteem grows when I acknowledge my achievements, And self actualization is reached by pursuing goals that align with my true self. She began to take pride in her work, achievements, and and she enrolled in a dance class and reigniting her long lost passion for dance.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:18:34

Man, that is so cool that she is just just turning it around and just that little change in the belief. It's a statement. Yes. It's a hypothesis, BL it gives you a way to engage a different way of thinking, changing your point of view, which creates a different reaction in your mind and in your Person. It gets you to tap into more of the internal ability instead of needing the external Influences. NK? You have something inside you. You can do this. And then moves on to 4, certainty.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:19:11

This is what I mean. We're uncertain all the time, and this one rocks people. So certainty, the unpredictability of life, always unsettled Maya Like everyone else, adopting the belief, establishing routines, and having plans In place will provide a sense of security and control in my life, she thought. So she started planning her weeks, which brought a newfound sense of calm and control. So where do you introduce predictability instead of unpredictable? What can you do? And number 5, it's growth. Maya realized she had been stagnant for too long. Embracing the thought, Seeking new experiences and knowledge will will continuously contribute to my personal and intellectual growth. She started reading extensively, and she started attending just workshops, which opened her mind to new ideas and perspectives.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:20:15

In number 6, contribution. Maya felt a lack of purpose Guided by the belief, contributing to the welfare of others or the community will enrich my life with purpose and connection. She began volunteering at a local shelter. And this is not the thing, the one thing, but, You know, it didn't just do 1. It didn't just make her feel like she's contributed, but it not only brought her joy to her to her, but it also how do I put it? It just made her feel like she's bigger than something that's just it's something bigger than herself. It's much larger than herself. So let me try to say that just just a little better. I I mean, I'm so excited about when you feel like you can contribute to others, realizing that things are much bigger than yourself.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:20:58

When you get involved that's why I love coaching sports and team sports. It's not to have just talented people, but it's talent and character. It's people that have the gift, but also they're tired, they work hard. Character keeps them working hard. Character keeps them from quitting on their team. Not just the talent because talent, You can't you're always gonna meet some other people where talent's just not gonna be enough. So you have to get into where you build and you get in community and you stay connected with it. And it's gonna bring you so much joy, but you're gonna get a sense of contribution because it's bigger than you.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:21:33

So as months passed, Maya's life transformed. Where there was once monotony and, and uncertainty, there was now vibrancy and purpose. She realized that by aligning her actions with her core human needs, she could live a more fulfilled and balanced life. Maya's journey was a testament to the power of the belief hypothesis in transforming not just one's actions, but their entire life. The story of Maya can serve as an inspiring example of how aligning our beliefs and actions with our core human needs can lead to a more fulfilling life. Now I'm not sure about you, but for me, Navigating uncertainties of life is a journey. It's a self discovery thing. I mean, it's part of my growth.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:22:23

And by understanding my core needs, And if I know I have them, other people do as well. It helps me to be more sensitive. But when I understand our core my core needs and aligning my beliefs and actions accordingly, then I'm able to build a resilient, adaptable, and fulfilling life. So you could do the same BL you aligning your core needs and aligning your beliefs and actions accordingly. You get to build a resilient, adaptable, BL fulfilling life. So I'm encouraging you to reflect on these principles, integrate them into your daily life, and witness the transformative power they can have. Embrace uncertainty, set goals, practice mindfulness, build connections, and contribute to your community. Focus on that.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:23:13

Focus on Being that protagonist in your story and not a character and everyone else's, be an expert in your life and not an expert in everyone else's. Be a person about your business and not about others' business. BL an empath and be caring for them, but remember, it's their life to live. Don't wave flags for other people. Don't Push all this stuff for others. Represent voices that need support. Yes. But don't be the one out there doing more for everyone else cheering their life on and Failing or neglecting to cheer yours.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:23:52

So let's embark on this journey together. Cultivate a life of growth, Resilience and fulfillment as you move along and as you move ahead. Take some time, review these. They are true core human needs. They will be listed in the show notes. But remember, it's physiological and so and safety needs. That's the first. 2nd is love and belonging.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:24:14

3rd is esteem and self actualization. 4th is certainty. 5th is growth, and 6th is contribution. I hope that you will find this helpful and useful. That is my word for the year. It's useful. Like, one of them, and that's It's the right at the top, just useful. And trying to make sure that people can have tools that'll help them along On the way, wherever you are, I may never meet you, and that's totally fine.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:24:42

Just go out there, fill your blank pages, make a difference in this world because you can. You were meant to be an individual. You were meant to self actualize and see what You can do, and then you also there to put on the you have put here on this earth, I believe, to make a difference in this incredible world