Creating Rainbows As Reminders

Tim Pecoraro (: 00:24

Welcome to Blank Pages, the podcast, a podcast for people who appreciate the new beginnings of a clean slate, but strive for the courage, willingness, and curiosity available only on the blank pages of new possibilities. It's the potential to move beyond, to move forward, where people are willing to make new decisions from fresh perspectives and are ready to write in a much better way.

The world is listening and nothing listens better than a blank piece of paper. So I'm so glad you're joining me today. I'm your host Tim Pecoraro and I'm really excited about this topic today. I'm actually, I was gonna follow up on that communication and stuff, but I'm actually sliding one in here, right here in the middle of this kind of, I feel like it's quite appropriate and apropos. So before I get into that,

I want to say thank you for listening to the show and for subscribing. And if you are where you're listening to me right now, if you would go ahead and like and subscribe to the show, I'd appreciate that and share it. so that's, you know, Apple music, I'm sorry, Apple, podcast, Spotify podcast, Apple, Amazon music, Odyssey or audible, hopefully there or on YouTube. You can find me there as well where we will be putting more of these videos up as well as the, of the talks that I'm doing where you see me, not only, or you hear me, but you actually see me with some.

the closed caption, right? So this episode is kind of neat because it came from something that is a conversation at the table with my family. So, you know what? Before I do that, let me go ahead and pop in. I got to make sure this is showing up properly, but a little show and tell today. So for me today, my show and tell is this tiny little thing. It's called a, it's a pick, a guitar. Excuse me. It's a guitar pick.

And the name of the pick or the brand is Coarse. And what's cool about it is you have this smooth side and then you have this coarse side. And so I'm scraping it. Listen, this is coarse. Right. And this is smooth. Right. But listen to that detail. If it's coming through, I don't know if it is or not. But anyways, when you play and what's nice is, and so it comes in this little pack and you buy them and I order them and I mean, it's really cool company, but the Coarse, right. So here's how they put it. It's a polish for clean, clear.

Tim Pecoraro (: 02:46

bell -like tones, right? And then they say you have the coarse for gritty, raspy, textured tones, right? So what it does is it gives you these options and like they put it, just simply flip coarse, meaning the pick, over to switch between polished and coarse picking surfaces. Polished for clean, clear like bell tones, and coarse for gritty, raspy, textural timbre. So I am telling you these picks are great. I love them. They sound great.

My, our oldest son got me into these. And so I like them. So today's show and tell if you're a guitar player, get some course picks and try them out for electric guitar. Simple to hold right there. That grit. That gives you that grit. This right here, you just rotate it in your fingers and you get that bell tone, that clean and it's very comfortable in your hand too. All right. That's show and tell. let me move on. Today's topic came from sitting at the kitchen table with family.

And we were sitting there and it was interesting because our son, middle son, our middle child's son, he brought up the fact that we were talking about, I don't know, it was raining. I think it was raining and we looked outside, wow, look at all that rain. And then he just made the comment that, you know, most people, okay, he's going to the story of the rainbow, right? And after the flood.

And what he's saying is most people or people are basically viewing that God put the rainbow up to remind us that he would not let the ocean or he would, he would, the flesh would not be cut off by water of flood, nor shall there ever be a flood and destroy and ruin the earth. So that was God's, that's what the rainbow is there for. Okay. And, and so our son said, you know, most people think that

God did that for us to remember. He said, but that's not what it is. God did it to remind himself. And so let me just read this to you because it's going to be very simple today. And I thought about this because obviously I'm a Christian, so I'm using the Bible and taking that story and looking at it. And then I'm going, now, what do I do? How do I make that a part of my life now? How do I do this? So.

Tim Pecoraro (: 04:56

I started looking at this and it said, then God spoke, this is after the flood and God's gonna have this rainbow. So this is in Genesis 9, 8, and it said, then God spoke to Noah and to his sons with him saying, now behold, I'm establishing my covenant. So this is God saying, I'm establishing my covenant, binding agreement and a solemn promise. That's what it is, a binding agreement and solemn promise. And that's what I want you to hold onto. So if you're struggling, if you're a seeker or someone who just doesn't believe, I understand that. Listen to this principle, okay, about making covenant.

The binding agreement or solemn promise. Okay. With you, says, and now behold, I'm establishing my covenant binding agreement and solemn promise with you and with your descendants and descendants after you and with every living creature that is with you. And he goes through the birds and all this other stuff. And then he gets in and then verse 11, he says, I will establish my covenant with you. Never again show all flesh. You ready? Be cut off by water of a flood, nor shall there ever again.

be a flood to destroy and ruin the earth. And God said, you ready? This is what's cool. In verse 12, this is the token, visible symbol or memorial of the solemn, solemn covenant, which I am making between me and you and every living creature that is with you for all future generations. And so I like there that we're talking about, you know, this binding agreement and a solemn promise. And he's talking about, this is the visible.

symbol or memorial, right? And then with that, this is the solemn covenant. This thing is real. It's rich, it's real. And it's between, he said, him and us and everything we're attached to. And he said, I, verse 13, I set my rainbow. This is God said, my rainbow, his creation in the clouds, and it shall be a sign of a covenant between me and the earth. In verse 14, it shall come about when I bring clouds over the earth that the rainbow shall be seen.

in the clouds. And now God's making that visible. He wants it to be visible. And I will compassionately, this is the key right here. Remember my covenant, which is between me and you in every living creature of all flesh. And never again will the water become a flood to destroy all flesh. So what does that have to do with you? Listen, once again, I'm not trying to get you to do anything. I don't want you to go, is he trying to make me into a Christian or no.

Tim Pecoraro (: 07:20

I hope you're open to growth mindset is, mean, you listen, you hear people, you listen to things. I want to give you something that you will say, what are your binding agreements, your solemn promises? What are they? What are the visible symbols or memorials, the token things that you would put up symbols, the things, these things that are symbolic. and they're solemn, but that shows solemn, the solemn, the solemnity of your covenant that you have, meaning the binding promise, the agreement.

So that means, and so how do you break that down into your everyday life? So I started thinking about this and my son was right. I was looking at it, it's like people do have that wrong. So God is reminding himself, the one that can create stuff is reminding himself. The one that knows life is happening, he's saying that what I'm in control of, I'm making a covenant and reminding myself of what I will not allow to happen any further.

Right? So that's each of us. When we get to the point where we make binding agreements to change, when we make solemn promises for renewal or difference, when we like those things, when we make relationships, when we, when we're working on things, agreeing to do something like, like all these things that we do, but we need visible symbols. So visible symbols are if you're married, you have a ring, visible symbols are so many different ways that we show covenant.

And so I started thinking about the ways that we can do that every day in practical things that show the promises we keep, for instance. So I want us to get to the point where there's an object. just as there's a rainbow, it serves as a symbol of God's covenant. We can create or choose an object that represents our commitment to our core values. And that's what I want to challenge you with. What is your commitment to your core values where you will not allow?

anything to at all make you forget what your commitment is. It doesn't matter if someone offers you a position of power. You will not accept it if it means that you have to flood the earth. Meaning you will not allow things to do that. You will remember your promise. You remember that and not let that happen.

Tim Pecoraro (: 09:29

That is what we do, but in relationships, we make less agreements and less covenants because people you don't trust. don't believe anybody. We sue everybody. Like this is the world we're living in. We attack everybody. We accuse people. And, and, and this is like real stuff, or we could help people and we withhold and we don't help. don't support. We don't try to elevate the quality of somebody's life.

We see people struggling for answers and we live next door and we don't help provide them. And I just wonder if it's because we don't see enough of the symbols in other people or even so that's like for me, for God, God reminds me of what I need to see on the earth. But then when I see other people like my mom or, or a friend of mine, I've got friends that I've had long men in my life that come and hold me accountable and talk to me about stuff and they, but they have symbols.

I have a friend who struggled with drinking for years and years and years. And even though I don't have to have a problem with it, I just, don't drink, but it's cool. I don't even drink anymore. And it's because of that friend that carries this chip that he has. is so, so long that even though it doesn't bother him what I do, I'm just saying if he can do it, I'll join him just because. And I've made a covenant with my 30 plus year relationship doing something like that. And so I'm saying,

That is what we have to, what are the binding agreements and solemn promises that are going to be a symbol in their, in their, in their memorials. And so I'm just going to go through some basic things here. For me, forgiveness is one. Grace is one. Unity is one. Character is one. Integrity is one. Right? These are, these are values that I have, like that I'm trying to, that I want to put to work. Friendship is there.

Okay. Truthfulness is there. Like these are things that mean the most to me telling that you like people saying the right things is there. like that type of stuff, like people honoring the things they say and doing what they say they're going to do. If they say they're going to do it, then do it. And if they're not going to do it, they tell you they're not going to do it and then it's done. But no matter what.

Tim Pecoraro (: 11:44

We've got to get better at honoring covenants. People make contracts all the time and break them and they go, what do they stand for? We people love contracts. We live in America where we have so many rules and laws and we don't even do the ones that are on the books. And we're trying to create new ones. And we're in a society can't live under that type of regulation where everybody is afraid. And it's because you're afraid because we're losing sight of those critical things in our values. And when we can bring peace,

Instead of reminding ourselves of covenant to help relationships with other people, we let the flood of that trouble rush over people because it's not a standard of ours to operate with peace. We don't have a symbol for peace. We don't have a thing to remind ourselves that we can be a person to remind ourselves that we will not allow chaos to overtake. Meaning what's in our control, within our control.

Tim Pecoraro (: 12:42

I want people to develop rituals that reinforce their values. For example, to begin each day, like with gratitude or reflection, right? On these commitments that you make, just not starting a day with gratitude, but on your commitments, much like a morning meditation or prayer session, right? That's all I'm saying. Like write it down. What are your commitments? And establish a routine doing it. That's a great way to start. Then like a vision statement, create a relationship vision statement. That's an example for relationships.

So it's one that'll encapsulate the values you wish to uphold in your relationships. And what you want to do is you want to write those down and they should be written in the present tense, right? And if they already are being practiced, that's great, right? Hopefully that's, I love it, but if they're not, you want to write in the present tense is if they're being practiced. You want to display these statements in a place where you can see them regularly.

such as on your bathroom mirror or desk. So when you come in from the cloudy day, that's rainy and noisy that maybe you walk in and you see it and you remind yourself of that relationship. The storm that is coming toward it, that you will not allow the storm to overtake the relationship. Elevating the priority of relationship. We need more of that. People are scared to stand next to people. They're scared to be, they're afraid.

And we've got to get rid of that. We need people to feel covenant again, to feel connected again. Right. And so even if it's one, it's still better than none. And if you have to start again, build better covenants, start like this, start again with making, making the relationships better. But here's the thing I want you to also revisit the statements that you create, make sure you revisit and update them. another thing that I want to kind of put out there is I want you to like, so I brought up forgiveness, right?

So you want to do, let's just say acts of kindness. Say maybe yours is you create kindness. You have a symbol or something that demonstrates kindness. Something that shows like it's a ribbon. Maybe it's around care. Maybe it's a basket that has something that's it's a symbol of someone. Maybe it's an old medical bag where from the old house to house doctors that visited. Whatever it is that means something to you, you bring that into your world and remind yourself.

Tim Pecoraro (: 15:01

So make forgiveness, like as an example, so if you're gonna use acts of kindness or practice forgiveness, here's an example. You wanna make forgiveness a regular practice in the relationship. This involves not only forgiving others, but also forgiving yourself. This can be a powerful reminder of grace and compassion. It's similar to the way that I'm saying that I'm learning from when I receive it from others, when people demonstrate that to me.

How about acts of kindness? You want to engage in random acts of kindness. In other words, you're looking to be kind toward other people, people outside your normal zone, your safety zone. That is the reminder that you have to have. What is a random act of kindness? What is a symbol of that as something that will remind you of your commitment to random acts of kindness, your binding agreement, your solemn promise, your visible symbol or memorial of a solemn covenant, which you are making between yourself and.

Fill in the blank.

Tim Pecoraro (: 16:01

You want your acts to serve as tangible demonstrations of your commitment to the values that you have. You want these things to be tangible, people to see them. They're obvious. And then the other thing that I want to bring up to you is, is communication and reflection. So open communication channels, establish regular check -ins.

with loved ones to discuss how things are really moving. if it's not a loved one, it could be a friend, but you need the communication and you need reflection. And once again, this can be weekly, it could be monthly conversation, but it always gives you a time to reflect and grow within the relationship. So make sure that you do that. Bring communication, prioritize communication, put up a symbol or a sign. What you wanna do is here, a binding agreement, a solemn promise, a visible symbol, a memorial.

of the solemn covenant that you make as it relates to communicating in a healthy manner between you and fill in the blank. That's the way you want to do it. Journaling is another way. And I encourage journaling because you know, this is where you can reflect in your daily interactions and how they align with these values. And so it's going to help you stay accountable and also make you help you make adjustments. And so as we move on and I'm moving towards closing this up, I want you to understand that

You've got to also do this in community, right? So what you want to do is however small your community is, because you don't need a big one. You want to begin to foster healthy connections with that community. And if you have a bigger community, what you want to do is identify, make sure you have a covenant for that community. Covenant in all ways, find your values and make your covenant symbols. And I'm going to show you some real practical ones here in a minute. But what you want to be able to do is have the people around you in your life that can hold you accountable. Right? So I was mentioning earlier about.

the gentleman in my life who, who I know has gone through substance abuse and stuff. And so he has not drank alcohol in many, many years. And, and me, I've joined him. Like I'm doing the same thing, not because I needed to, but because I wanted to. And I, that's kind of what I'm doing in that. And that when I, I take away all of those things and I will, I want to, I want the same thing. I want to be able to let the rush of joy and goodness and other things.

Tim Pecoraro (: 18:15

be what I, that I work to experience when I'm going through difficult things. So I let the joy of relationship, the connection to feeling connected and to working through hard stuff, that is a symbol. So what could that symbol be? It could be a reminder of maybe I hold up, how can I put a, I don't know, something that kind of shows a needle and thread, right? That's showing how you put something together.

Like I may have something that shows something that was repaired. has cracks in it, but it's been assembled and put back together. And so that could be my reminder. It doesn't matter. Just find something that works. Find something that will be helpful and useful. And then also take that small connection you have and allow yourself to move into other communities. And if you can, try to get into volunteering. Get yourself into doing things that get you to stop looking at yourself. The best way to create...

When I'm talking about these binding agreements and solemn promises on values that are true and real with visible symbols and memorials like that you would create that really pull attention to it. says this guy is really serious or this person is very serious about this stuff. Like you've got to sit down and you've got to, you know, you've got to get out there and think about some other people in order to be able to see that clearly for yourself. So when you're in service of others,

It makes it easier for you to hold up your symbols. In other words, this is my commitment to you. This is the relationship between me and you. I put this here. I remind myself of. Okay. So when you implement these types of things, they can help you create your own rainbows. That's what I'm hoping you'll do is make a rainbow. Okay. So there's a power in a symbol and here's why symbols have a unique powers and they inspire and they remind us of our deep commitments.

I want you to, once again, you think about the wedding ring. It's small. It's a small object yet it has tremendous meaning. Similarly, we can, can, you know, create a personal symbols that embody our value. for instance, on my arm right here, my forearm, I had a tattoo artist create faith hope love. It's from a group that I, favorite band of mine, and it's basically biblical first Corinthians. And the greatest of these though is love. That means something to me on my arm right here is, from a Bible study.

Tim Pecoraro (: 20:30

This is about experiencing God and that God is at work and he wants to involve me. That is on my forum. That is a reminder. up here is a reminder of covenant on my arm and family. And then over here, I have another arm. says sound is light. Reminds me of the words I use and the things I say. Do they create or do they destroy? On my arm also, I have, it says worship is my weapon. It's a guitar. And it lets me know that I don't need to fight people.

with meanness or any other thing. I don't need to do that. I can worship God. And then he through that fights for me and, and not be me getting myself in trouble and asking God to fight like the person that runs their mouth and wants everyone to back them up. No, I'm talking about just in general in life. These are the things, these are core. These are real. And it's a power of a symbol. So perhaps it can be a bracelet you wear something every day with a special stone in it. As long as it's a symbol that serves as a constant reminder.

of promises that you make to yourself and to others. And once again, put the guiding light down, write a vision statement with it around that relationship. Do your acts of kindness. Make sure they're small, but let them be mighty. Let them be extravagant acts of kindness, not looking for people to give you back equal. Also offer gifts of forgiveness. Be ridiculous with it. Don't hold people hostage. Let people go. Extend grace even to yourself.

Like you have to give grace in order for you to continue to function. So in conclusion, I want you to make a, make your own rainbow. It's about when you create your own rainbow, it's about you making or, finding a simple, meaningful way to remind yourself of the values you cherish. It's about living intentionally and choosing the higher road or higher ground, even the one that is less traveled. And remember these changes don't have to be grand.

They're small, they're consistent actions, and they can lead though to major and profound transformations.

Tim Pecoraro (: 22:38

So as we wrap up and as I'm concluding with you today, I encourage you to think about what your personal rainbow might look like. What's the symbol you would choose? I mean, obviously you have the easy ones. If you're married, there can be a ring. You know, you have like a family member. It could be a necklace you share, bracelets. mean, I don't know, friends. You have the same things. It could be a picture on the wall. It could be a drawing. It could be a coin. I mean...

This is what I want you to do. What symbol will you choose? What daily ritual will you start with that symbol to everyday remind yourself? And how will you express kindness and forgiveness or whatever you come up with with your values? Find not only just come up with your symbol, but what are the ways that you're going to act it out? So not only are going to say, got this symbol and I look at it, but when you remind yourself, you're going to take action to do the thing that the reminder is reminding you of. Do it.

So these are questions or the questions, hopefully that will guide you on your journey to living a life that is aligned with your highest values. A life that helps you to be clearer, a life that helps you to live at a different level, a life that can bring other people into it and they feel a part of it and a life that hopefully can expand and grow with others and do great things in this world.

So thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. And may your personal rainbow shine super, super bright in all that you do. And until we talk next time, or until we talk next, we'll talk soon.