Handling Life’s Warning Signs: Your Life Dashboard

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:00:24

Welcome to Blank Pages, the podcast. It's a podcast for people who appreciate the new beginnings of a clean slate, but strive for the courage, willing curiosity, and creativity available only on the blank pages of new possibilities. It's the potential to move beyond, move forward, where people are willing to make new decisions from fresh perspectives and are ready to write in a much better way. The world is waiting, and nothing listens better than a blank piece of paper. So. Hey. Hey. Welcome, everyone.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:00:57

So glad to have you. I feel like I miss you. And I haven't. It's only been, what, seven days since the last episode or whatever, but I mean, obviously some of my episodes may be recorded some other time, but they're all fresh. They're all within a five, six week proximity of each other. So, um. But, man, yeah, I'm so glad that you're joining me today, and I hope that things are going well for you in your world. And, yeah, that's always a good thing.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:01:25

You want people to do well, to be succeeding, and to be successful in the things that they're doing. And that is my hope and my prayer for all of you who are listening. So if I sound a little congested, it's because I am. So I recently returned. I was with my client up in the DC area, and I spent several days there doing a leadership retreat for my client. And, man, it was so awesome. Had a great time. But guess what? On the way back, I.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:01:56

I got Covid. Man. Covid is still out there, friends. It's still there, but it's okay. So it's been rough. I haven't been feverish, which is good. I've just needed to rest and rest. And I do rest.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:02:08

I have been resting, and it kind of led me to what I'm going to talk about today. So before I get into that, I just want to say thank you. For those of you who have subscribed to the show, there are people who have sent me text messages or they reach out. I really appreciate the feedback. Some of you ask more questions. Some of you say, hey, can you tell me more about. And so, I like that. Can you tell me more about.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:02:28

Or, hey, I'd like to learn more about. Or, hey, can you talk more about. So, hey, if there's something like that that you want to do, first, of course, I'd like you to listen on Apple Podcast or Spotify podcasts or Amazon music. Or you can go to sub stack. You can find me on odyssey or audible pretty much anywhere there's a podcast platform. You can find me so, yeah, but if you want to tell me, hey, tell me more about. Go to M Pecoraro on Instagram at Tempecararo. T I m p as in Paul, e c o r a r o on Instagram and then go to my bio link and you can, sorry, before you do that, you can dm me if you follow me, but then go to my bio link as well.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:03:17

And I would love for you to join my newsletter because that's another way that I'll engage. So it only comes out once a month. Just kind of gives you highlights of the podcast and things that are up and coming. The newsletter will be monthly more frequent and more robust in the beginning of the new year. Right now, I am working on several things that are about to be rolled out. One of them will roll out at the end of October, which I'm so excited about. It is a signature thing that I'm going to be doing. I have, I have repurposed and reworked and I have done so many things to change the way that I'm doing things.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:03:52

But why? It's so I could reach more people and I have so many folks that go, Tim, I heard about that talk you did here, or you're doing this over here, or hey, you took this whole group. What if you. Is that available somewhere else? And see, I'm thinking, wow. Yeah, you know what? I need to make that stuff available somewhere else. But I don't want to just do talks and give things. I want community around it. So everything I'm going to do is about people growing, people that understand that they are looking for clarity in their life. Anyways, I'm not going to give you all those details.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:04:20

I'm just going to let you know it is going to be awesome. So you will find more of that in the newsletter as it rolls out. So I'm going to also do really quick my show and tell, and I have to figure out where. Oh, right here behind me. So look, you see in my hat, it's football season. Frankenouse. Notre Dame is my favorite college team. Okay? I'm a Pats guy for football.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:04:40

I'm from Connecticut, guys. I was born. So if you hate the Patriots, whatever, patriots are there right now. They're, I mean, it's rough, okay? But we had 20 something years of amazing football. Okay? I remember when I was a kid, the Patriots were, I mean, they were okay. But I miss winning because winning is funner than fun is fun. Okay. So.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:05:03

But when you don't win, you got to rebuild. And that's part of life, which I talk a lot about that stuff with people. But what is my show and tell today? It is the annual Notre Dame shirt. So every year, they put out their. Their season shirt. So this year, this is what it looks like. Here's the front of it, and then here's the back. I love it.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:05:23

Look at this tradition. The tradition continues. And then with this hat. So that is my show and tell. And they open up against Texas A and M. And, man, it's going to be good. And they better be ready, because Texas A and m is no joke. So today's topic, because I've kind of been under the weather and stuff, I'm just gonna.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:05:45

This is a good topic. I'm not gonna breeze through anything, but I want to give you enough that you really, really think about it. And so. And this is kind of piggybacking. So I ended up with COVID and so I've been not feeling well. You know, I'm one of those people when I'm sick, I don't complain to everybody. I want to isolate myself. I get alone, and I just get better.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:06:05

I don't need everyone to wait on me. I don't need someone to ask me every five minutes how I'm doing. So I'm basically one of those people that just doesn't want a lot of attention or anyone to fidget or fuss over anything that I'm going through. Just let me get better. If I need something, I'm going to ask you for it. But it's. And it's not because I don't want anybody to. It's because I have learned when I'm alone and I can get better, it lets me even process things in myself.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:06:30

I think about how I feel because I slow down. I start thinking about you. Ready? My life. And it's a great place to be. Still don't. You should. You should think about your life before you get sick or you get a cold or you get bedridden for some reason. But when you are in that spot, why not take advantage of it, right? Make the most of it.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:06:50

So this whole idea is around dashboard lights, right? In your car. I mean, it's amazing how many people will drive around, and they know they got all kinds of lights going on in their front. Now, they may take it to the dealer or they take it to wherever they got it from, but most people are driving around and they have a light on, and they just ignore it. Well, ignoring lights on your dashboard can be very problematic, especially in your wallet. If you need that vehicle, if you've got work to do, you've got things you got to get to, you got kids to transport to school, or maybe it's part of your job and your business. But regardless of whatever the reason, what I want to say to you is we cannot be people to ignore those dashboard lights. So what's amazing is a person will buy a car. Some people will spend a lot of money for a vehicle and ignore the lights, and then their car breaks down.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:07:38

They spent all that money. And a lot of people, instead of saying, man, I gotta change that bad habit, instead, what they do is they may buy another vehicle and carry the same way or operate the same way, where they just ignore lights, they ignore what the vehicle is saying to them. They were the dashboard, or they want to check online because they don't want to spend money. They want to go online, look up, and say, what's wrong with my car.com? i am wanting to. I just want to put out there into this conversation today that regular checkups and maintenance are important to function optimally. And that means we need to pay attention, right? And here's the things that I want to pay attention to. The mental, the emotional, the spiritual, and the physical health. Okay? Right now, these are the things I'm thinking of.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:08:26

And what I want to do is kind of show you these dashboard lights, like on a car. But I want to kind of say, like, what is that? Like, as for people, okay. And the reason I'm bringing this up is because back to me getting sick and coming back and catching COVID Prior to that, for several weeks, I literally had gone through. And this is a good cleansing and purging for myself. But I'd gone through a very difficult situation with a trusted friend who literally created such a traumatic experience for me by what they tried to use and weaponize just to get their way for something. And what they used was something that they knew that was a problem for me. They just didn't think it would impact me as much as it did. And it wiped me out and it tore me up inside because it took me back, which was good for me to discover what I needed to get healing from on the inside of myself.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:09:22

Going back to being a five year old boy, little boy. And this was something that was a five to five ages five all the way up to about ten, nine or ten years old. And I remember because it was before I left, because my family moved from. We went one year from Connecticut, and we lived in Charleston near the military base. And then we moved back after a year, and I remember that one year was a space for me to also begin to just heal, but I never healed in a deeper spot. And then I lived my life with a lot of that stuff. Anyways, this situation exposed that. Now I'm still kind of working through it.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:09:58

My biggest thing is releasing and forgiving, and so that's where I started. But, man, the lights on my dashboard are ridiculous. And I'm working on those. And I'm just being completely transparent and upfront with you that a lot of us have that so many people don't understand. There's a great book. You can look it up. It's the body keeps score. We need to understand that we're carrying things.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:10:21

A lot of people who even think that they're so great and they're so wonderful and doing all the things and they don't make those mistakes and this and that, they're still making decisions that are based off of unresolved stuff. Meaning there's a light on the dashboard that perhaps they have been ignoring as it relates to their fitness. That's the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. So I'm going to give you 12345. I got five that I want to kind of put through. And I want to tell you, so what is the light? I'm going to give you a light, and then I'm going to give you, what is the. How does that relate to personal, your personal aspect of it, and then what's the indication? And then work through kind of a remedy for it. But I want to get you to really think about it.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:11:06

Now, the other thing that I would like you to do is, as things come up, I want you to ask yourself questions that you will, that will challenge you to, you know, dig deeper into these things. Now, if something causes you to kind of, you start getting into it, you start getting anxious or you start thinking about it makes you uncomfortable. Listen, there is nothing wrong with getting professional help. If you're a person, you believe in Jesus and you want to go to your pastor, then you go and get counsel from your pastors or your care pastors. If it's therapy, do therapy. If it's a different counselor that has no religious affiliation, I mean, go do it. If it's a trusted friend that, you know, they could guide you through, you just have to address it. Get started on this.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:11:57

So I'm going to go through these lights, and then hopefully we will have enough for us to pay attention to what's going on in our lives. So here you are. This is the car called Tim. This is what I've been working on. And so the first light I want to bring up is the check engine light. And that light, for me is the mental health. It's the brain of everything for me. And so it's the indication on that for the mental health is signs of stress, anxiety, or even depression.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:12:27

So when you think about when your check engine light indicates potential issues with your car's engine, that is equivalent to, in my mind, signs like mood swings or loss of interest. They can. These are the things like you don't have in your car. Your check engine comes on and it's almost like it's sputtering when it's driving. It doesn't seem to have enough power or get up and go juice. And so those are things that can point toward mental health issues. And so it's so important that if you understand your check engine light is on, that is mental health. And I want to tell you right now, you need to address it.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:13:07

And as I already stated, you need to do that with therapy. You can also do that. You could do it, the counseling, as I said, or a care team at a church or whatever religious organization you're in, if you have people that care for that on mental health. But mindfulness is a big one. Mindfulness and doing mindful activities. Mindfulness, just learning to sit there and spend some time in mindfulness, but then also like stress management. So in other words, are you putting yourself in stressful situations? Is that light on? And you still go in, and if you're still going in, ask yourself, why am I still going in there? And if it's. You can't, if it's one of those things that this is solvable, but I need to have a conversation.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:13:56

It's not solvable, but I still need to have a conversation. It's not solvable and I need to go. But I also think, do you think to yourself, do I even want to be in that? You have to ask these types of questions. And that's where therapy can help. Mindfulness journaling can help. But it's also, if you're stressed out and you feel stressed, it's your job to say, look, I'm under into something now. Don't use it as an excuse. Friends, just don't do that.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:14:24

Make sure you know the difference. The second is it's your oil pressure light. And so to me, oil pressure is akin to or similar to your physical health. So low, low oil pressure, if you know anything about it. And I have burned an engine up before when I was a kid. Maybe I'll tell a story about that one day. It was terrible. Spent all this time with this car and then blew it up.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:14:47

So low, low, sorry. Low oil pressure can damage an engine. But similar to how neglecting the physical health that you have can lead you to ready fatigue and illness, that low oil pressure is not going to allow that car to perform properly. So how do you turn that around? And I'm going to tell you guys, I have literally spent two years transforming my body. I am the weight that I was walking around when I played football in high school, and which is crazy, I have changed my body, and I changed my body first by changing my mind. That's what I did. And I didn't realize how much my mental health was affecting my physical health. And it's because my physical health was because I had a lot of injuries that I did not take care of properly.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:15:35

I did not do the therapies that I was supposed to, I didn't do, you know, go to the, to the physical therapist. I didn't do all the checkups and check ins. And so I spent the last two years under my doctor's care rebuilding my posterior chain, which I've talked about on this podcast some, and because of it, I am strong again. I can move, I can get. The only thing I can't do is run for long distances, and I can't run. It's not because the muscles aren't pumping, the blood's not, I mean, everything. It's. My joints are too arthritic and.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:16:05

And they just can't handle the impact. But, man, I can squat all the way down and sit on my heels. I haven't been able to do that in probably ten years. Physical exercise, or exercise, and regular exercise is so important. And did I go crazy? No. It's every single day, three sets of ten and five to six different exercises, rotating them. And then once I started feeling good again and I felt not miserable, because even lifting weights in my upper body, I could feel the pain in my lower, in my lower extremities. And so now it's different.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:16:44

I can lift everywhere, and I feel good. And I want to encourage you that if your oil pressure lights coming on, check it, do something about it. Be faithful to the body that you've been given to life, that you've been given, the mind that you've been given. Be a good steward of it. Exercise. So the next one that I want to bring up is the battery light. So this is an emotional one. This is the emotional health height.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:17:10

So battery alert suggests the car's power. I almost said Ca. The car's power is low, akin to emotional burnout. So we need to, when you burn out emotionally, you got to think about how do you recharge. So recharging to me is what's in proximity. I don't want to wait for a vacation to recharge. So every day I have ways of recharging. I have music playlists.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:17:36

I have books that I go to that have proverbs in them or different statements or sayings. I have, obviously, people that I converse with and I speak with. I also have places that I can go and do different activities. One of my places that I love is I learn where all the, where you can kind of sit and chill and hang out out in the open air. So there's a market nearby that opened up called Mercado. I love it. I'll go there and have coffee there, and I'm able to sit, and that is when my battery is low, how I recharge. And so I think it's so important that you need to get yourself into not just those, but also the enjoyable activities.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:18:15

You can do. Enjoyable activities on the regular, you could do gratitude practices, like just practice gratitude. I'm grateful. Show it today. I'm grateful. And then emotional support can help you restore emotional balance. In emotional support, what that means is not people that are going to take you through a thousand questions. I'm just talking about people who know how to just be there with you whether you talk or not.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:18:43

Those are the really good friends, the ones that don't come to you and try to tell you everything or say which is broken, what needs to be fixed. They're the ones that say, hey, I'm here. The next one is the temperature warning. So this is a big one for me. And it. And it's where it gets kind of where it can separate people. But I believe we're humans and we are spirits. And again, I use this reference before, but even the police, the group, music group that does say we are spirits in a material world, it's hard for us to embrace spiritual things because we get.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:19:18

We're so caught up in material things. Now, of course, some people are less materialistic than others, but no matter what material items pull us away from, from your instagram account to TikTok, to clothing advertisements, everything constantly being bombarded. So you have to make sure that you're checking your temperature, which is your spirit. And so I believe we live in a giant earth suit. And when we're gone, I believe that spirit will depart from us. And so as we're in this suit and we're going around and doing whatever, our temperature rises, and if we don't have a way to regulate that, like the thermostat will with a cooling system in a car and the, and then the water pump kick. I mean, like, so much about that, we're not going to get into car mechanic stuff, but just letting you know if your car overheats, it's dangerous. Your cardinal can blow up.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:20:05

It's done. You could kill your engine. You can crack your engine block. You can warp the engine heads. So many things happen. So when you're looking at this, overheating is dangerous in a car. Well, lack of your spiritual fulfillment can lead to a sense of emptiness. So it's not really that you're overheating per se, but you don't have anything to circulate when the heat is on the.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:20:32

You don't have anything to cool or regulate. You don't have. You don't have anything that's going to keep you connected like that and get you fulfillment. So when you engage in spiritual practices, it can make a big difference in your life. So what are, what's a spiritual practice? I mean, obviously, go outside. It's spiritual to connect to this great big world that we live in. It's spiritual because I believe we come from the dirt. We go back to the dirt.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:21:00

So there is that part where we get connected to what I believe. When God created everything, he made it useful and pleasing, and then he made, he made us, he made humans. And then with that, he says, look, you guys, all this stuff is to be useful and pleasing to you. I think that's pretty cool. But what happens to us is we start feeling empty when we separate ourselves from the reality that all that was created for us into all of this stuff that was created for us turns into the most important thing for us. And so you can't be connected to material things. You can be attached to them, you can have possession of them, but there can be no emotional connection, really, to say, a pair of tie a set of tires that you love. What is the.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:21:49

Now you can change that by, if those tires save your life before you, you would have went off the road with old, bad tires, but you were using, and I'm not endorsed by them, or they don't pay me for this. But say you've got some Michelin tires, which I've used those before, or Pirelli, whatever, but when you go around, you know it's raining and you could have slid off the road and it didn't happen. Then you can have an emotional attachment because you go, I like those tires, but it's because of the experience. So of course, I want you to engage in spiritual practices. I want you to connect outside. I want you to enhance your spiritual health. I want you, if you're a believer, you read your bible, you pray. If not, then you can meditate.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:22:27

If you're not, whatever you do, you've got to get in touch with that spiritual part of who you are because that is really what's alive in you. You or should be. The next one is that was the temperature, and actually this is the last one. It's your tire pressure light. And so for, I had a lot of ideas for that one, but, and this is just going along just what I've experienced, what I've been noticing in other people as well. But the tire pressure is like your social, it's your world and your social life. And so low tire pressure can affect a car's performance, similar to how social isolation or low social engagement will impact your personal well being. You want to talk about something that hits you hard when you feel disconnected? Because I'm going to say this.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:23:13

As a spiritual being that has, that needs emotional health, physical health and mental health, it is important for us to be out there socially so that we have the right amount of pressure in our life. The pressure that can carry us, the tires. Think about it. You said the tires are for means to help you go from point a to point. And that's what is the tires are necessary. You can have a smoother ride, a safer ride, all that stuff. This is that pressure light. It's telling you, where are you socially? What's going on in your life? Because your low tire pressure will affect your performance on your vehicle, similar to how your social isolation is going to, again, impact your well being, personal well being.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:23:55

So what you want to do is build and nurture social connections and you want to take care of them. And I want to encourage you to kind of look at some of the relationships you have. Are you just collecting people? See, I know a lot of people in business, and all they care about is connecting people or collecting people, getting to know people so they can make more money. If that's your motivation, yay, you. But at the end of the day, when you and I are laying on our deathbed and we are about to go, no one is going to say how much more I wish I would have had more money. No one's going to say, I wish I would have bought this car or that thing. No, they're going to wonder, who were they connected with? Did they. Did they love that person? Did they care about that person? Did they.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:24:34

Did they try to help? Did they ask for forgiveness? Did they, you know, or did you give them forgiveness? Did you release them? Even the situation that I went through where I'm telling you about what this individual did, that I spend every single day saying, God help me, as I forgive them, I choose to forgive them. And why do I do that? Because I still have to go out into a social word world. And here's the thing, I will run into these people, and I have before, but the thing is, is my shoulders are back, my head is at this, the normal height, and I still smile and I show up the same way and I will greet a person who has wronged me or offended me. Why? Because that indicates my health and my well being. I'm not worried about theirs at that moment. Do I care for them to be better? Yes. But I can only manage me, I can only answer for me and I can only make it to where they can be released from all of that if they want and we can all move on. So I hope, as you're listening to what I'm talking about, it makes sense to you.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:25:49

Because. Because I don't want to confuse anyone. I don't want to go, what is he talking about? This is a car, this is that, this, that. It's. It makes sense. I think if you think about it, you can make the lights anything you want. What does a check engine light mean for you? What does the oil pressure light mean for you? Battery life. Just find a way to help you think about those things.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:26:06

And for me, number one, it's mental health, that's my check engine light. Number two, it's physical health, that's my oil pressure light. Number three, it's the emotional health, that's my battery alert. Number four, spiritual health, that's that temperature warning. And then number five, it's all about that social health, how I live and move and have my being out and about in this great big world. So I hope this will be helpful for you. I hope it'll be useful. Hope you can put it to work.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:26:38

Check on these things, guys. Don't ignore those lights on your life diagram. Don't ignore the lights that are appearing on the dashboard of your human being. Do the hard work, sit down, have those real conversations with yourself. Connect with someone trusted, talk to someone if it's therapeutic. But work on it. Exercise. Connect with others.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:27:03

Work on your mind, work on your emotions. You can do this. And you've got this. I believe in you, and I'm sure many others do. But don't let our. Don't let us believe in you more than you believe for and in yourself. So until next time. We'll talk soon.