Unlock Life's Favor with Mercy, Kindness, and Truth

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:00:25

Welcome to Blank Pages, the podcast. A podcast for people who appreciate the new beginnings of a clean slate, but strive for the courage, willingness, and curiosity available only on the blank pages of new possibilities. It's the potential to move beyond, move forward, where people are willing to make new decisions from fresh perspectives and are ready to write in a much better way. The world is waiting, and nothing listens better than a blank piece of paper. So welcome to the show. I'm so glad you're here with me today. I just want to say thank you for everyone who has subscribe to the show, and thanks for those who have reached out to me. If you haven't done so to follow the show just in Apple Podcast or Spotify podcast or in Amazon music Odyssey audible, just simply find the podcast simple bl space and k and then pages.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:01:22

But drop the A P space g e s so both on blank and pages you can find me quickly on any of your favorite platforms. So you may have stumbled on me in one, but you may say I like it over in another. So that's how you'll find me very, very quick. It's easy to do, and I would love for you to follow the show, share the show with other people. Also rate and review the show for me if you would like to follow me as well on any social channels. I do some on LinkedIn. I'll be doing a whole lot more coming up, but mostly I'm on Instagram. I don't overdo anything right now, but you can go to M Pecoraro and go into my bio and you can at that point join my newsletter, which I would love to share with you.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:02:02

It's a monthly newsletter that updates you on all things that I am up to. And I do have a lot coming up that I'll be sharing, some pretty big signature items that I'm so looking forward to sharing with you, the listeners, and for other people who have been waiting for me to put this out into the world. So if you hear my scratchy voice, that's because I am Covid free. But I'm still getting over it. So I just have to clear my throat here and there. So thanks so much, though, for checking out the show and being a part of it. And before I move into today's topic, which I'm saying something like, here's the title, find favor within life with these three things or qualities. So before I do that, my show and tell today is this hat.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:02:50

You see it right here. It says girl dad. Well, it's from a company named dad. Gang. And so it's a company that was established out of fun. It was a fun idea between a group of dads who would share stories of what it's like being a dad and usually end with a conversation with the term dad gang. So they made some hats. They start.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:03:10

They started with just 100 hats, and they sold all of those out in less than 36 hours, which I think is pretty cool. So what happened was a buddy of mine, he had one at a baby shower for another buddy, and so he was wearing one. It was a. It was a black one that said it was all black with a leather bill and stuff, with a leather front. And it said, dad gang. I was like, man, why have you not told me about this? Well, he's like, I'm telling you now. So I saw it, and then I bought one, and I bought another one. And then the one that I bought, I gave to my son, who's a dad, and then the other one I had, I gave to my father in law.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:03:43

So I do need to get more. So I'm on this thing of getting my dad friends dad gang hats. The ones that I know wear hats, but then they came up with girl dad and I. Our last child in our home is our daughter, and she is a warrior and a princess. So I want a girl dad had. I'm so proud of her and who she's becoming, and she's amazing to me. So I'm just trying to spread the news now. Let me say, when I do show and tell, no one is paying me anything to talk about these things.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:04:12

I'm a connector, and I love sharing things with people. And hopefully you can find some value in you send it, and if not, you can skip right past it. It's kind of like my mentor said when I was younger. He said. He said, you know, tim, you know, when you read books or you listen to people or people give advice and all this stuff, he says it's kind of like eating fish. And of course, I scratched my head, and he said, you got to take the bones out. And I was like, oh, that makes a lot of sense. So if this hat's not for you, remove the bones.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:04:41

Okay, so today's topic that I'm going to get into, find favoring with these three things or qualities. The genesis of this is basically, again, part of life, learning and more learning. And it comes through my own study in getting better. Right. My goal is to continue to get better at being human. And why I do this show is to help other people to do the same thing. So what I wanted to do is to get us to where, what do you want to be known for if you could be known for, like, three things, right. As, as far as qualities.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:05:18

Okay. And so some that come to my mind when I was looking at the proverbs, and it's a really neat thing. It's, it's, it's all around this idea. I think, well, it's more than an idea. It's embracing that these three qualities that they will define you. They're very defining qualities. But in the world that we're in today, where people don't tell the truth, people leave out details. It's amazing how people can just flip flop into any old thing.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:05:49

It's amazing how many people let people camouflage stuff, and it's just the world we're in. It's amazing how crafty and sneaky people are to get their own way. It's amazing what people will do, especially when they're broken, if a person is broken and they don't want to fix themselves or solve their own problem, so instead, they just run around breaking other stuff. Wounded people wound people. And what's unfortunate is when you have people do it, and they do it under the guise of good intentions or this thing over here, and, ooh, this is a big deal. But really, you wonder sometimes when people are doing those things, like, what's in their head? But guess what? I can't spend my time. You can't spend your time wondering all that stuff. So instead, what we can do is realize that's out there.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:06:42

So what can we do to be better at being human and also be a good influence to those around us, those that we walk and do life with. And so I'm going to start with this. It's the re, it's all, it's like a reward, I think. And, you know, I talk about wisdom and all you're getting get understanding, right? So too many people pursue knowledge. People like to know stuff. They read things. They do all this stuff, but they, but, but, but understanding is going to be, you apply knowledge, right? You want to apply the knowledge to get understanding. And so what you want to do is when you apply the knowledge to get the understanding, then wisdom now has a tool to work with.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:07:15

Wisdom then becomes, like, this skill, this advanced thing that will help you find tremendous progress in your life when you embrace it. And the good thing about wisdom, I'm talking, like, wisdom that you know is from above and from a place that's not in your own head. That type of wisdom, pretty much. Anywhere you step. Anywhere you step is correct, because you are guided by what I'm about to talk about, things like this. So what are those three things? Those three things to me are mercy, kindness, and truth. If you could be defined, let's just say it was a necklace around your neck that you wore that literally had those. It was a reminder or a bracelet, or if it was the announcement before you ever showed up.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:07:59

Like, what if you knew that everywhere you walked, that those three things precede you, that those three things govern you? So why does that matter? Why is it so important? Because I believe we're gonna be defined by things, and we are. Some of us are defined by the things we've done in the past. I've made mistakes. There are people that may still hold me, by definition, to those things. According to them, I can't change that. You can't change that. But what we can do is look at moving forward. We can do our best to fix something.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:08:32

We could do our best to repent. We can ask for forgiveness. We could do it, but that's not ours beyond that point. So, moving forward, though, what do you want to do? Because you also are going to have engagements and interactions in life that are going to depend on, I believe, these three things. If you want to have good relationships with people, and if you want to find favor, favor with people, because if you can be defined by these things, you will find favor. So let me jump into them. So the thing is, the three things is, number one is I want you to cultivate, what if you could cultivate the mercy? And so it's a thing like mercy. Like, what do you mean? Like, how do I cultivate that? What does that mean? So, well, to cultivate mercy would mean you practice empathy.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:09:18

You strive to understand another person's perspective and experiences. So you work on that to do mercy. You come in with that mercy. Mercy would cause me to practice empathy, to look at someone else's perspective and experience. You know what Mercy's also gonna do? Mercy's gonna know, when I have so much power over someone, it's gonna help me to forgive them. It's gonna help me to let go of grudges, basically. Right. And forgive those who have wronged me.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:09:50

That's a big one. So when you cultivate mercy, you can practice empathy. That's one way to build it. When you to cultivate mercy, you forgive. That's another way. Here's another where you refrain from judgment. Oof. Man.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:10:05

Avoid making harsh judgments and give people the benefit of the doubt. Because then you can get into the conversations to find out about details. You can get into some of those finite things and talk, but you need to still give benefit of the doubt. It doesn't mean letting. And that's the thing, people get scared you're going to let somebody else cut free. It's not about that. There's a difference when you want to have accountability and you hold accountable. But what's the point of your accountability? Is your accountability so that you can do what? Fill in the blank? You have to answer that for yourself.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:10:41

But what I think is a good way to cultivate the mercy in your life is you want to avoid at all costs, making harsh judgments. Give people the benefit of doubt. Another way to cultivate mercy is, you know what? Volunteer or donate. Like give. Because when you engage in activities that help other people in need, such as volunteering and doing things at shelters and, and that type of thing, it opens your heart up in a whole different way. And some people, they don't help anyone other than themselves. Some people don't give any of their time. Some people call giving their time doing something extra and they're still paid.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:11:23

That's not giving your time. You may get extra, you may give above and beyond, but that's not giving your time. Give to where it now costs you something. Volunteer to where it's inconvenient. See, that's the thing we choose. We volunteer when it works, not when it doesn't. So if you want to cultivate mercy, practice empathy, forgive, refrain from judgment, and volunteer and donate. So remember, these are three qualities or attributes I believe, that will help you find favor in life.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:11:55

And this is according to a proverb that I embrace and hold on to. And for those of you who are interested, it's in proverbs three, and I'm looking at verse three and four, and it's a powerful passage. So I look at these proverbs and I try to say, how do I work? Because how do I operate according to these things? These are immutable. These truths are irrefutable. You cannot be these. These are principles in precepts that you cannot argue with. They work. I don't care what your belief system is, they work.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:12:31

So then, ready? Kindness. So the first one was mercy, the second is kindness. So you want to embody kindness. So what does that look like? So I'm going to give you four things here. You. To embody kindness, you need to perform random acts of kindness. What does that mean? Do small, unexpected acts of kindness, like help a stranger give a compliment to someone like, it's just little things that will help with this thing around your neck. If those were there bound, tied around your neck, or if it was a bracelet, or if it was etched and written on your heart to define you, people would say, wow, that person does small acts of kindness, not to be seen, but to help, to be kind, to lift someone else's head.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:13:22

The second one, when you want to embody kindness, is to offer encouragement. And that's just be sincere with your words of support. You encourage people by supporting them. You encourage them by saying, showing up with a can do attitude. You support them when you're, you're encouraging them when you come in and you say, hey, I know it didn't work before, but you can probably do it this time. Or hey, if you're doing this, help them with their belief statement. Give them a future belief statement, something that will help them want to step up and do it again. Encourage people.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:13:59

People need encouragement today. And the third bullet here is that I want to give you is be patient and understanding. You want to show patience, especially ready when people make mistakes and they're going to remember mercy was the first one. But then when you show that mercy, you're ready to be kind now and you want to help people. You want to be patient in the process of rebuilding. Now, of course, I am not trying to say that you should. I mean, this applies to me universally. But whatever the depth or complication of the situation, I'm talking about by and large, every day we are running into and bumping into things that can make, can make relationships difficult and make life hard.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:14:43

So for being just simple and practical, be patient. Show patience, especially when others make mistakes. Now here's the fourth one. Under this embodying kindness, pay close attention when others speak, so you want to listen attentively. So if you really want to show and embody kindness, pay close attention when people are speaking how listening attentively. And then you want to show a genuine interest. Be involved in the conversation, make eye contact, put your phone down, nod your head, even acknowledge by saying back to them what you heard. Be genuine in this approach.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:15:32

And then the third and final is you ready? It's truth. You have mercy, kindness and truth. Ooh, this is where people get it because, oh boy, this is a topic I'm going to work on in coming weeks. But there is no one has an absolute truth other than God, in my opinion. So you have your truth, I have my truth. And to you that could be absolute. But when it comes to relationships. We have to learn to come together and understand what that means to us and get aligned with it.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:16:00

So in other words, truth, meaning not. I'm talking about like, is gravity real or not? Like, we're not getting into all this. Like, gravity's real. We know it. You don't have to believe it if you don't want to, but I'm talking about truth. Around events that take place, people see things from where they are in life, but what we still need to do is still hear where they are. Okay, so let me get into it. When you live out truth, this is what it means.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:16:25

So if you're gonna. You wanna. If you want mercy, you have kindness and truth. First one, you wanna cultivate the mercy, you then wanna embody the kindness. But now you wanna live out this truth. So mercy and kindness are gonna be coming through to live out a truth. Live out this truth. So here's what this means.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:16:41

The first part that I'm gonna give you four here, is be honest. Always speak the truth. Even when it's difficult. Just be honest. There are too many people. It's too easy to lie. Just so easy. And so.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:16:58

And it's not that you should catch them. And aha, I got you. But people twist and distort because it's their reality. And so what we have to understand is you've done it too. Now, if you're listening to say I've never lied, well, I would probably say that right, there is somehow you not remembering that somewhere in your life you have everybody is it. And there, a white lie is still a lie. Leaving out details is still leaving out details, which still would equate to a lie if it comes down to absolutes. So be honest.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:17:33

The second is keep promises, follow through on your commitments. If you say you're gonna help them, help them. If you say you're gonna serve, serve. If you say that you're going to support, support. But just do it. Just follow through on those commitments to live out that truth with mercy and kindness. And then the, the other way, the third bullet I wanna share with you here is admit your mistakes. So take full responsibility.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:18:04

Not partial, full. It's not. Well, they. And that's why I. That's what the world is today. They did this, therefore I did that. No, you're telling what your response was to a stimuli and what you're looking for. Like me, we've all done it.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:18:17

You're looking for a way to justify your reaction or response to a thing. You can argue and fight with that all day. And we don't have to align on that. I'm saying, for a person who wants to go to bed at night and sleep in peace, we've got to get to the point where we take full responsibility and know the world doesn't have to be included in everything. And that's the other problem. Too many people want to just expose and do all this stuff, or, or when you feel bad, you want to grab somebody else and pull them in with you. It goes back to the story when I was in class and my teacher said, she turned and she said, mister Timothy, that's what she called me. I was in Connecticut.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:18:56

And I was like, yes. And she said, I need you to see. Stop talking. And I said, well, what about them? And she said, I am not talking about them. I'm talking about you. And then I proceeded to argue with her regarding just, instead of just taking responsibility and admitting that, wow, I'm off. And by, you know, because I admitted, I just stopped. Instead, I want to go, what about them? I became the victim.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:19:25

I was like, what about them? Why are you picking on me? And all this stuff? And it's unfair and all this stuff. And, and really, she really helped me because as time went on and I understood what she was doing and how she was working with me. I'm so grateful for that teacher. And then the last one that I want to give to you here is stand up for beliefs. So advocate for what you believe is right, even when it's unpopular. And sometimes that can be tough. And again, it doesn't mean you have to carry signs and do all this other stuff, it's, once again, it's standing up in your heart. For instance, if I know that someone is out there and I know that someone has misled somebody or someone has done something, I am not aligning myself with those people.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:20:12

If I know that there are people that divide and split and destroy and they are willing to do that and they're okay with it and they feel good about it, and then they want to duck and hide, I'm not going to walk with those people. And so in my life, I know who I walk with. I'll know who I'm walking with and the type of people I'm walking with depending on what I'm doing. So all I have to do is know what path I'm on and know the things that I'm doing. And I can tell you who's beside me, and I can also tell you who's not. And that's because I stand for stand up for my beliefs. And when I know my beliefs are in question, or if I know that I failed myself, and even in my beliefs, I'll correct that so I can get myself on the right path and try my best to make amends in any way possible. So this is pretty big.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:21:04

I mean, there are three simple things that I'm encouraging you that if you will not let mercy and kindness and truth leave you, but instead, if you would let those qualities define you, and if you were to bind them securely, like a necklace around your neck, and if you were to write them, like on the, on your heart, say they could be put there, then you're going to find favor in high esteem. I believe with God, to me and with man. And if that's what you're worried about, if you're concerned just at that level, first start there. Improve these earthly relationships. Do them better, and you can do it. So how? What are some additional things that you can do to help you get better? Well, reflect. Do daily reflection. I want you to ask yourself, how have I demonstrated mercy and kindness and truth today? Or how to, at the end of the day, ask yourself, did I show mercy? Did I show kindness? Was I truthful today? And then also study role models.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:22:06

Look at people that you know that exemplify that. Go to them and ask them about how they do it. Maybe people have gone through tough stuff and you've watched them with these attributes and qualities, standing tall. Say, hey, will you help me? Can you show me? And then because of that, you want to surround yourself. Another way to additional way to a practice that you can do is surround yourself with positive influences, be it the things you watch on television, to the things you listen to in podcasts, to the. To the books you read, to the conversations you have. You want to spend time with the people who embody these traits we're talking about, or I'm having this conversation with you about. Remember what I said a second ago? I said, I know who's walking with me because I know where I'm walking.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:22:52

And so if I'm concerned about who's near me, I don't want to look at them and go, what's wrong with them? I want to look at where I'm walking in, what I'm doing. That's what I'm gonna do. And then set some goals around these qualities to track your progress. Check every day. Was I kind today? Pick a person. If you know that you need to be merciful, kind, and also truthful. Where do you need to be in those areas, and just, Jaylee, just track it and check it off. We have all these things about meeting our massive goals and building our businesses and making more money and getting our revenue and all this other stuff.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:23:26

But I'm gonna tell you, when it comes down to it, and when you and I are on our deathbed bed, we're not going to be thinking about money. We're not going to be thinking about cars. We're not going to be thinking about houses. We're not going to be thinking about what our kids got to do and didn't get to do, per se, because of privilege or no privilege. We're not. All those things aren't going to matter. What's going to matter is how did I treat people? Did I love them? Did I get to spend time with them? Did I help them when I could have? Did I forgive them when I could have? Like, these are the things that we're going to think about. And I know this because even my mentor, the one who started with me when I was 20 years old, who passed away several years ago, that's one of the things that he told me.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:24:07

And when he passed away, I remember before he passed away, me kneeling beside him, next to him, next to his wife, who was dying, and we are being together. And that is what all his wife said before she ever left the earth, was those things, the relationships and the gratitude for people and stuff like that. I'm not in a hurry to leave the earth, but I'm in a way that when I do leave the earth, I want to know that the things that I did, that these things that are bound around my neck, these things that are etched into my heart, that. That I am doing them better than I did before. And so. And just briefly, this is going to require you to be mindful. And so, basically, we understand mindfulness, and you hear it all over the place. But mindfulness, to me, is maintaining a moment by moment awareness of your own thoughts and feelings, your own sensations in your body, the surrounding environment, and often through a ready, a gentle and non judgmental lens.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:25:07

You can't be judgmental in it. This is going to help you become more aware of your own actions and your reactions. It's going to help you foster a more compassionate and thoughtful approach to interactions with other people. When you're mindful like this, it can be cultivated through all these practices that I'm talking about, the daily reflection. But you can pray, you can meditate, and this is going to only help you continue to increase in your empathy and compassion. And when you consistently do this, and when you consistently practice this, you can shape your character. You can see your reputation be defined in a new way. And even if it is simple as this, mercy, kindness and truth, and it's going to require, though, that you do this ongoing reflecting, always.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:26:02

It's got to be genuine and you got to commit yourself to do it in order to grow. These are hard things to do, and they're not always easy, because a lot of people are not going to approach you in that mindset. But once again, I can't control what someone else does. But I can. I can control what I do. I have a choice. I get to make decisions. I get to choose, too.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:26:32

And I want to choose a better way. I want to choose to raise my own standards so that I can embrace a call to and for more. So I know you can do this. Think about it. Who can you show mercy to? Who can you show kindness to? Who can you walk in that truth with? Because mercy and truth will channel through, not in a destructive manner, but one that can be restorative, redemptive. It can change things. It just takes people to just do it. So I hope you'll join me in that journey.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:27:06

Keep your head up, keep going, keep writing in a much better way. So, until next time, we'll talk soon.