The Art of Purpose-Driven Communication

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:00:05

Well, hello and welcome to Blank Pages, the podcast. The podcast for people who appreciate the new beginnings of a clean slate, but strive for the courage, willingness, curiosity, and creativity available only on the blank pages of new possibilities. It's the potential to move beyond, to move forward, where people are willing to make new decisions from a fresh perspective and are ready to write in a much better way. The world is waiting, and nothing listens better than a blank piece of paper. So hello and welcome to the show. I'm your host, Tim Pecoraro, and I am so glad that you are here with me today. And this episode is episode 15. Man, time has flown by here.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:00:55

It's been 15 weeks of doing this, so it's pretty cool, pretty cool, pretty cool. I'm glad I'm doing it and I feel like I'm living my best life, doing a lot of my best life things and where I am. And one day I'm going to talk about that, share a little bit more about what that means to me and how I even feel I got there. But communication, I'm going to wrap up today, getting into that. And before I do, I want to thank all of you for connecting with me and those who have signed up for the newsletter. You can do so and connect with me at the same location. Right now, obviously, I'm on LinkedIn. You can look me up.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:01:35

Tim Pecoraro. T I m p e c o r a r o. That's on LinkedIn. But Instagram would be a great way. Just at Tim Pecoraro at T I m p as in Paul ecoraro. And you can talk with me there, engage with me there. And if you go to my bio in Instagram there, click on the link. You can join the newsletter, which I am growing and adding things into it.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:02:00

It is a monthly email that goes out with a recap of what I'm doing in the podcast. Some additional things I may just some overview nuggets that I think are there. Some additional stuff at times, I may add some other new things I'm talking about into it. But other than that, it'll be informational, inspirational, and something that hopefully you can go back. It'll be a resource that you can refer back to and it'll have value and add value to your life. So, covering communication. So the first three that I did was. The first one was who says it in communication.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:02:37

That's the credibility. So are you a credible person? And I encourage you. I'm not going to review all of it, but just go back and listen to that one. So that would have been 13, I believe. Yeah, somewhere around there. So who says it? Credibility. Then the next one was what? The communication of the. What is being said and that deals with the content.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:02:59

Right. The information that's being put out, but also the mindset for preparation that you have. And then this collaboration. And then the last episode I did was on. It's all about the how it's communicated. And what I put was emphasis on these four areas in the how. It's like you want to communicate with the heart, you want to communicate to be helpful, you want to communicate with hope, to be hopeful, and you want to also communicate and have some lightness to it, some levity. Right? So I'm so excited where I am today, this is around the why it is said, like why? And so many things.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:03:42

Like we talk and I love it. And as people, we should. There's the expression, we should be able to talk and engage. And it's not just words. We're also speaking with our bodies and our body language. Like, that's what happens. We communicate in so many ways. The things that are heard, things that are not heard, things that are said, things that are thought.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:04:01

I mean, all these things. It still communicates everything. Communicates everything. That'd be funny. Like, well, no, I don't encourage anyone to not communicate. Anyways, let me get off of that. So, communication, I want to start by this why part. It's the purpose, right? We want a purpose in our life.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:04:19

We want to know what's our reason for existence. Well, a lot of people, sometimes you just need to ask yourself, like, why am I going to communicate? Why, if I'm going to have this conversation? What's the why? What's the purpose behind my communication? Communication always should have some sort of objective, right? So if you were going to go look up, and actually I'm doing that right now, I am pulling this up and I love to look up. Definitions, literal definitions. So the adverb of why is for what, right? For what reason? Cause or purpose? And as a conjunction, for what cause or reason? Like I don't know why he is leaving, for what is the reason, if that's how you're using it. And then for now, the plural why is even a question concerning the cause or reason for which something is done, achieved, et cetera. The cause or reason, the whys and wherefores of a troublesome situation. So why? For what? What's the reason? So let me start with this basic fiction, this little fiction, but it's a story. It's going to work.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:05:30

So imagine there's three colleagues. There's Jordan, Casey and Sam. And these are all, they're great professionals, and they are in software, they develop software and they're navigating their careers, their roles as a parent, partners. They're active in their community. There's hobbies they like, there are days where they are in meetings constantly. They have deadlines, they have to go do school stuff, they have family commitments. But despite their competence and success at work, here's what they all noticed. It's an issue within their team.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:06:08

Miscommunications were frequent. There were projects that were experiencing, like delays, and the team's morale was at an all time low, and their environment was so fast paced. But then they also had the tension of their packed personal lives. It left hardly any room for any kind of clear or purposeful interactions. Everybody's pulled. So conversations were very hurried. People, when they communicated, it was more directed. Instructive instructions were.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:06:42

And then because of it, they're just instructed and directed. Things are misunderstood. And the team's connection began to even dwindle more, weaken. And then reflecting in the performance, when you would look at it and they would look back at it and start to kind of like, it would start to show up in the work, their KPIs things, their performance indicators, things started going down. And then work satisfaction also started to decrease. So they started to see the impact of this and their communication breakdown. So Jordan proposed a new idea during one of their team meetings. Suggested that they dedicate the beginning of each week to a clear, focused discussion where every team member could then align themselves, align their goals, they could express their concerns, and then they could, together or collaboratively, they could plan the week ahead.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:07:38

So they believe that improving their communication could then hopefully foster more connected, efficient, and maybe understanding team environment, because everyone's got things going on. So then Casey, who had a knack for the organizational communication, volunteered to put these weekly meetings together, ensuring that they were purpose driven, inclusive, concise. And then Sam, who was more of the empathetic person, had a lot of, was an empath. And that nature suggested incorporating a brief segment where they would share just personal highlights and challenges, maybe going on in their world, helping them to bridge their professional and personal worlds, and then getting some support because of some basic understanding within the team itself. And so all of this shift, it shifts towards intentional, structured and empathetic communication. And then it can then have this potential to transform the workplace. This is what they begin to see. But then over time, as they kept investing in it and kept working with it.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:08:44

They didn't just assume that it would work. They began to see the transformation. They began to complete projects. They were more efficient. The creativity was there, misunderstandings were reduced. You can just go on and on. But they started to feel more valued and connected. This is the part both as colleagues and as individuals with very valuable, rich and personal lives.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:09:09

Their approach not only enhanced their work experience, but it also brought a new found sense of balance, some fulfillment, or even blend, because their two worlds could come together. It was like it was a fulfillment in their busy lives all of a sudden, making them more present and engaged with their families as well, and their personal commitments. So the story of this turnaround, just imagine it can be inspiring. And that's what I want us to have as I give you this simple framework. Just to be able to take your life and recognize what people are like, and you see there's a place for all of us. You can have the person who organizes, the person that's an empath, you bring them together and you can solve things together, but you have to open up the door to be able to communicate. So if you want to be able to get to those spots, you're going to have to become better at communication. We're going to have to become better, and we're going to have to understand there's a purpose.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:10:07

What's the why? There's a why to the conversations. So I want to give you a simple, hopefully effective framework that's going to help you even be more purpose driven or even be a purpose driven communicator. And why am I doing that? Well, I'm giving this framework. So, I mean, the intent is that it will help enhance connections with others. So I'm giving you these four key steps. It's like a framework. Okay, so here's the first one. You've got to get better at reflecting.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:10:41

So get into that introspection. And I know a lot of things start, but, yeah, you have to reflect. Pretty much everything starts with, let me reflect, let me look at a few things here. So that's your first step. You've got to spend time understanding yourself and your own values, your beliefs, your goals. That's how you get better at the why of the communication. That's how you can become better at purpose driven communication. And you want to reflect on what matters most to you and how your communication can reflect or demonstrate these values.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:11:15

So this is that type of self awareness that it's crucial because it's going to inform. Well, how do I put it, yeah. So when you have this type of awareness, this self awareness, it's crucial because it informs the authenticity of your interactions. So it's going to make your communication more impactful and it's genuine. It's like it's real. So reflect, get yourself to that spot. This is the self awareness. This is crucial.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:11:52

This is going to inform the authenticity of your interactions. Second one is define clearly. Define your communication objectives. Like, get into the definition of it. What's the objective? What do you hope when you communicate? What do you hope to achieve through your interactions? Are you looking to inform, persuade, connect, inspire? All of the above? Like, what is the motivation behind that? Right? Define it. Don't just say why, but define it. What's the objective? Define your purpose, right? So that you can then sharpen your focus. So isn't that interesting? Right? Defining your purpose will sharpen your focus.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:12:34

And because of that, that's going to guide the content and the tone of your communication, because you're very clear. Then the third is express. This is important, right? And I'll maybe do something around passion one day, but we all have emotions, believe it or not. Yes, you do. You have them. You want to articulate your thoughts and feelings clearly and confidently. Some are more articulate than others, and I understand that. So that's okay, though.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:13:10

You can do it to your level, but you can always get a little better at sharing. And even it's not so much how many words you use, but maybe you just spend some time through reflection, getting clear in your objective and then even getting some different words, right. Some ways to articulate what you're trying to say. Maybe something, words that have a little bit more rich meaning, more value. Because you want to use language that will align with your purpose and resonate with whoever you're talking with. So you want to make sure that your thoughts and feelings are clear and they're confident, but want to use language that will align with that purpose. That's your tension. You got to go.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:13:51

Okay, how do I do that? Because I want to be comfortable saying these things. I want to be clear, I want to be confident. So I got to work on it. And give yourself some time to be able to work on it. But be mindful of your nonverbal cues. Right? That's what I said earlier. Your body language, your eye contact, the tone of your voice can have a big impact on how your message is going to be received. So you also want your expression to be authentic.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:14:16

You want it to be tailored, right? You know that if you're in a meeting and it's with some people you've never met. And this is something, and you can tell it's like serious, serious business. It's okay to be yourself, but make sure that you're showing up and you're realizing they're serious. Right. And so you want to make sure that you understand who you're speaking with too. Understand. So this is the why of this conversation. And I want to be authentic, but I also want to know my audience, right.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:14:44

So be consistent with your defined purpose as well. And then the fourth one is to engage. And this is how I'm going to wrap this up. If you want to do anything in life, you're going to have to engage. You must engage. And so the only way to get better in communicating is you have to engage. You have to be present, you have to be there. But when you engage, this will set you up to be effective.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:15:12

This is a great point. You reflect, you define, you express, but now here you are, you're engaging, you're going to take this and you're going to put this framework to work and you want to move into communicating. Well, here's the thing. In order for communication to be effective, it has to be a two way street. And this is where things break down. This is why people on their why. You know your why is correct. When you do this engagement better, you know that you understand why.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:15:40

The purpose of your communication, to be a purpose driven, driven communicator. You know why. When you can listen and you understand because it's two way. And you listen actively, you show genuine interest in the individual. Engagement means being present and responsive, not doing 20 things and all this other stuff. And it's adaptive also to the feedback you receive. When you engage, you're present, responsive and adaptive. It also involves not only sharing your perspective, but also creating space for others to share theirs.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:16:21

And this, ultimately it will create a mutual understanding and a deeper connection because of that engagement. But I have to drill into this, and this is how I'm going to close up. You want to improve your ability to communicate. You want to be a purpose driven communicator. You want to be clear on that. It's this engagement one. This is the magic. People can reflect.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:16:44

People can also define. People can also find the words in the sentences. They could write them out. They could create it. They could write it on a piece of paper and curate the best words in the best way. But then when it comes down to it, you can send a letter. But if there's a conversation to follow. This is the engagement part, and this is where we can become really, really good from the beginning with our why when we communicate.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:17:09

And that's going to be through listening. You really want to succeed, you want to get better. You want to be really good at communicating, listen. So here are four things you can do every day to help you listen. For that engagement part, remind yourself, number one, to listen every day. You're going to be on phone calls, you're going to be talking to people. You're going to be occupied at work. You're going to be on a lot of things.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:17:38

And so you have to remind yourself to take some time to listen. And also, if you're in meetings and things like that, bring a notebook and take notes. Like just listen. Force yourself to do it, but remind yourself to listen. And then the other thing is, stop interrupting people. And when you interrupt people, that's because you're focused mostly on what's in your head or you're trying to shut something down or you feel like you're saving time or whatever, but I get it at times that's necessary. But a lot of people, that is the process. That's what they do.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:18:12

And ultimately it's cutting off viable stuff. Very, very good living things. And it's dictating a direction where only one person has power. Meaning you've built a road, but it's only one way. You've built a bridge, but it's not two lanes. That means we can get on a thing, but there's no way off of it. Or there's no way for me to invite you in or me onto yours. We've got to change that.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:18:44

But you have to stop interrupting. Stop going by what's in your head. And when you interrupt people, what you're telling them is what you have to say is more important than what they have to say. And then here's another thing, be more curious. And if you're curious, you'll ask more questions and you'll ask better questions. If you want to be a show that you're a good listener, remind yourself you're going to listen. You want to then stop interrupting people. And now you want to start asking questions so that you can listen better.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:19:15

You want to learn about people. You want to show that the reason that listening is so crucial and important is not because of what we can accomplish. It's more about getting to know who we can accomplish things with. It's getting better about knowing about them as well. It's about knowing who they are and how they show up, and that's important. We want to be able to succeed together. And the only way you can do that is you're going to ask more questions. There's value in people and you will discover amazing things about others when you ask questions, but also learn to ask better questions.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:19:46

And then the last one I would tell you is let some people know you're trying to listen better. And so always give them permission. Give people permission to hold you accountable. What I mean by that is after you finish a conversation, give them permission to say, hey, I'm checking myself. Let them know that when you finish conversation to make sure that I'm listening, will you please ask me to tell you back what we discussed? And if not, I need to fix that right there. Like give people permission to hold you accountable. All right, so that's it. The framework I gave for you to be a purpose driven communicator in order to enhance relationships is to reflect, number one.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:20:28

Number two was to define your communication objectives. The third was to express through your thoughts and feelings. And you want to get them to be confident. You want them to be aligned with purpose, your purpose. And then you want to engage. That's where it's a two way street, you understand, but it's going to require that listening and that listening. You're going to have to remind yourself to do it every day to listen well. You're going to have to stop interrupting people and you're going to have to ask more questions and even better questions.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:20:58

And then give people permission to hold you accountable for your listening. It's that simple. I'm working with people right now that are running businesses and some of them are their partners and their husband, wife, their friends. There's all these different connections and how they're doing things. And I work with the ones that really want to do it and have a foundation of connection and true relationship and not just trying to do business. One of the things I'm seeing this is the main struggle still is even when they've known each other, it's still improving communication. Whether it's their business and their marriage, if it's their business and their friendship, it's their business and their family. Whatever is going on, there's still that part.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:21:46

If it's their team, I coach teams, I work with athletes as well, apart from me coaching their team. And I still see we still, by and large, have to continue to prioritize our communication. We have to be clear on why we're communicating. We have to be clear on how we're communicating. We have to be clear on what we're communicating and we need to be clear and be credible with ourselves because it's the who who's communicating. So I hope you'll take that with you. I hope that this has been helpful and useful and know that I am a person who believes in you. And I believe that we are all more than we've become.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:22:27

And there's so much more that we are still yet to do with our lives. As long as we're still here. Be grateful. Celebrate other people. And this is one of the things I want to start introducing more. But I've now started taking just blank cards with nothing on them, no branding or anything. And anywhere I go, I've been with this fountain pen and I'm leaving notes and I'm going to ask you, and if you listen to this podcast, would you leave someone an encouraging blank page note just on a note card? It's blank. You write it to them and just encourage them to say, hey, I just want to let you know, communicate something with an objective, but let it be around something that brings hope and positivity.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:23:11

Don't talk about the thing. Just give them a vision for something bigger, better and more. Celebrate them. Let them know that you value and appreciate them. Something just simple, but just do it. And if you can do that text or put it at Tim Pegaro on Instagram, send me a message. Let me know that you sent a blank page note to someone. Just dm me.

Tim Pecoraro [: 00:23:35

That would be great. And then yeah, just keep up the good work. Get clear on your why do this thing and do your best to do it well and getting better at being human. So thank you for giving me some time today. I appreciate your time and your attention. And until next time, we'll talk sooner.