The Four Pillars of a Good Name: Honor, Wisdom, Integrity, Courage

Tim Pecoraro: 00:00:26

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Blank Pages, the podcast.

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A podcast for people who appreciate the new beginnings of a clean slate, but strive for the courage, willingness and curiosity and creativity available only on the blank pages of new possibilities.

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It's the potential to move beyond and to move forward where people are willing to make new decisions from fresh perspectives and are ready to write in a much better way.

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So the world is waiting and nothing listens better than a blank piece of paper.

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So I'm so glad that you're joining me today for the show on this episode.

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If you're listening to me on Apple Podcasts, if you're listening to me on Spotify Podcast, Amazon Music Odyssey or Audible or Substack, if you have not done so already, would you please go ahead and follow the show, share the show?

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I'm getting some great feedback and I'm only putting out a podcast.

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Hopefully that'll give you some meaningful, useful tools that you'll be able to put to work for the rest of your life.

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Stuff with a shelf life, stuff that you can go back to over and over again and it's timeless.

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It's the basic stuff, life stuff, stuff that's going to, as they call it, soft skills.

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I like to say, no, these are your necessary real life skills that we need, especially if we want to be people who know how to work better with people, deal better with people, and so forth, so on.

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So if you haven't done so yet, please follow the show.

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So, hey, look, I'm so excited because we do have or I do and my team, we have got it, gotten the uphill community ready to go and we started posting on LinkedIn and Instagram that you can join the wait list now, next week or the next episode after this one, I'm going to be talking about the community.

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What is it about?

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Why am I, why am I doing the community?

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And I'm going to say this to you.

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If you don't join this, if you're not one that wants to be a part of what I'm doing, that's great.

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I'm encouraging people to become a part of community because I believe life change and life happens better and best in community.

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Now, I'm not just talking about crazy Facebook groups and all these things.

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I'm talking about a real community where if you have the opportunity to meet in person, please do so.

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But if it's something that's online, where real people work together on real things with real encouragement that are aligned together, working together, and they're not, they're just people that are just literally into some sort of common thing that they share common thread where they're able to bring the best out of each other.

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Now, those are the communities I'm talking about.

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I'm talking about communities that if you're going to be a runner, join a group of people that are in a community that are going to be runners, but they're not talking about how great their club is versus everyone else's, that they run better than everyone else.

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It's how do you build each other up?

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What are the things that you can learn from one another?

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How do you support one another?

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That's the stuff.

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How do you go through the hard things together and do it all in community where it can be tracked and people can have challenges and people can share from real places.

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And it's a place where people will protect and take care of and just not let in a bunch of noise and nonsense because, man, do we have enough of that in the world already.

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So, yeah, we don't need that.

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So why am I.

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I'm just going to give you the.

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For me, why this is so important is because, you know, I want to help people do the hard best, not the easy, good stuff.

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And because the reason you need to do hard best is because also that's where uphill comes from for me is anything worth having is uphill.

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And what I learned from my mentors, you can't go uphill with downhill habits.

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And you can't also go uphill by yourself.

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You need people to go with you, people that are aligned like that.

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So if you're wanting to join this wait list, what I'm talking about, and you're hearing this podcast, it's simple.

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Go to my LinkedIn profile or my Instagram profile.

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It's the simple same.

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It's Tim Pecoraro on LinkedIn.

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Tim P E C O R A R O or on Instagram at Tim Pecoraro.

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T I M P E C O R A R O.

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And you should see a post.

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I don't post crazy amounts of stuff.

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You'll see a post that literally is me talking about Join the waitlist.

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And so for the next several weeks, you'll see more and more of them to join the waitlist.

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This will kick off January 1st.

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So December 1st, the waitlist opens up.

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So what you're doing right now is getting your name on that list to see if this is something that you want to get into.

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All right?

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It's real simple.

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Join the wait list.

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And I'm excited.

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Hopefully I will see your name on there.

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And yeah, we're going to go with who is there?

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And it's going to be great.

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And we're going to go through an entire year of doing community and making some incredible changes.

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And so my rule is I have three things which I'll reiterate when I do the podcast.

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It's I'm going to help people get clarity and gain clarity, help people raise their standards and embrace their call to and for more.

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Those are three things that you're going to be able to count on that we're going to do.

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And I don't care what it is you're trying to do in your life, what we're going to go through for the entire year with all these themes, I promise you, you will be apply it, be able to apply it to anything.

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If it's learning a new skill or a trade, if it's fixing something that you've broken in your world, in your sphere of influence, if it's building a business, if it's transitioning from a business, no matter what it is, we're going to be able to do it together in community.

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So today I am going to talk about.

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It's a very difficult, challenging topic for a lot to deal with because a lot of times it's hard for us to talk about these things because, well, we all would like to know that we have a good name.

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And that's what it's all about, is having a good name.

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And all of us have done things that can hurt our name.

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We've all made mistakes and have made errors, and none of us have a monopoly on it.

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And hopefully none of us are so arrogant that we think that we're that good.

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Now.

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Well, I know that there are people out there that do think they're that good and they are that arrogant.

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But we're not going to.

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That's not what we're doing.

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We're going to talk about just this whole idea of the making of a good name.

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And this is coming from a proverb that really has impacted me.

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And it's because I've had.

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I've.

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I've hurt myself.

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I've done things to hurt myself in the past, I have.

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And, but I've also had people do things that hurt me.

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And I can't control what they do, but I can control what I do.

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And even if it's something that they do, I still can work on what I'm going to do.

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There's still a response that can come from me.

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And so the proverb I was thinking of or what got me going on this.

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It brought up these four pillars or these four characteristics, these four key ingredients that I think that go along with having a good name and where we need to focus our attention on any one of us.

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It's something we can teach to our children.

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It's something that we can bring into our businesses.

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If you have a company, these are things that you can put into your business.

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If it's.

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If it's your marriage, if it's friendships, if it's a sports team that you have, these are things that can come along with it.

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You know, it's like.

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It's like a team.

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You mentioned a sport team.

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And everyone has.

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Now, I'm a New England Patriots guy, and there's people that.

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As soon as you mention the Patriots, right?

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I've been a Patriots guy since I was a kid.

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Um, I'm from Connecticut originally, and I've loved them since I was able to.

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And, you know, and I am.

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I am in my 50s, right?

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So I've.

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I've loved the Patriots for a long time, even when they didn't have Tom Brady.

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But as soon as I say Tom Brady, the name affects people a certain way, and they all have opinions and they could say something about it.

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And so I can't control what everyone says about someone else, but I can work on what I do to work on what people may say about me.

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However, even that I can't control what somebody says.

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But what I can do is work on the things that I need to.

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To put myself in a spot to where at least I know.

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And those closest to me and those that I do life with know.

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And then as that extends out, that I can work on continuing to cultivate that and making it something that.

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That.

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That is good and it's solid.

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Okay, so here's.

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Here's what I want to start off with.

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You know, I want to.

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This.

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It's.

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It's a principle, okay?

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And it comes from the.

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From.

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From a proverb.

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And I believe that it can transform this.

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This one verse can transform our personal professional lives big time.

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And here's what it says.

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It says that a good name is better to be chosen rather than great riches or loving favor, rather than silver and gold.

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So it's.

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It's better.

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I mean, it is a good name is so much better.

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It is like, you know that.

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Because here's the thing.

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If you have a good name, silver and gold will never be an issue.

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If you have a good name, you're going to be able to advance, you're going to be able to move forward.

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People are going to want to work with you.

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No one's going to want to run from you.

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And you know, that's a big one for me is that there are times because of decisions that I've made, it makes it harder for someone to work with me.

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And then there's times that I didn't, you know, do anything wrong and it's still because you know people that doesn't.

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There's no.

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This is not a promise or a guarantee.

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This is a reward.

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Okay?

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So I want to make sure that I'm saying that too.

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This conversation and this talk is about a good name.

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And when you have one, there's a reward that comes along with it.

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Okay?

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So the.

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And I have another kind of version of this.

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But the thing is, it's more desirable.

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So a good name is more desirable than great riches and favor is better than silver and gold.

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So if I have a good name which is more desirable than silver and gold, and that can get me right, if I have a good name that can advance me, that will allow me to earn if I need to.

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But also what I love is, and it's favorite, having favor with people.

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In other words, there's favor, you're in good graces with them.

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And that's better than silver and gold because there'll be people that are willing to help and walk with you and be aligned with you.

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So that's important.

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And I only want to.

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Again, I want to reiterate something and listen, I know some of you, you may have blown it.

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I work with people all the time.

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They have done some things from people that have been incarcerated to people who, I mean, just so many things that I can go down the line with that I've worked with people.

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And even the people that most would say have the most squeaky clean lives, these are people that can be in public office and all kinds of things.

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People on the outside go, oh, they're squeaky clean.

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I know inside stuff, okay?

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Just like everyone knows inside stuff about you who are listening.

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There are people that know it.

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We are people who as humans, we tend to disguise stuff and you know, so rather than have to hide stuff, it's so much better for us to work on, I believe just what's in our control and the making of a good name.

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So it's ancient, feels like it's old, the proverbs, Right.

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But it's deeply.

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I believe this resonates deeply in our modern world where we are today.

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So once Again, it doesn't matter if we're talking about individual or business.

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A good name or reputation is invaluable.

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It opens your doors.

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It opens doors for you.

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It builds trust, and it creates opportunities that money can never, ever, ever buy.

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Now, people can pay for things.

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You can have an attorney pay for stuff.

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I mean, you could do all this stuff, but it still doesn't change the fact that underneath it all, nothing can pay for it.

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When you lay your head on your pillow at night, when you go to sleep, that is what I'm talking about.

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When the people closest to you, you know they can count on that from you.

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When people who are about to engage with you and work with you, that it's not this surprise thing that hits them.

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That's.

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That's the challenge that we all have.

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I think everybody has something they hope.

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They hope they can get past or get over things that we regret.

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So what if we can make a good name that we're.

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We're not having to be on the side of any regrets.

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Okay, so what exactly makes a name good?

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That's what we're going to get into.

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How can we build and maintain a positive reputation?

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And if we've made mistakes in the past, this is what I want to help us with as well.

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How can we repair our name?

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So these are the things we're going to address today.

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All right, so here are these.

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I'm going to call them pillars.

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Okay?

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These are four pillars.

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So a good name isn't something that you're born with.

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Okay, this is not one of the pillars.

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This is just me saying, setting this up.

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You're not born with it and you can't buy it.

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Okay?

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Now you can pay for someone to help your reputation online.

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You can pay for all these things, but that's still people moving things and fixing things.

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That's not.

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You can't buy it.

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It's earned through you ready?

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A good name is earned through consistent actions and choices.

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That's what's going.

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That's what you need.

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It's earned.

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And so we're going to explore these key attributes that contribute to a good name or these pillars.

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Okay, so the first one is it's honorable behavior.

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So here's what I mean.

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Honorably, honorable behavior means acting with integrity, with respect and consideration for other people.

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So it's about doing the right thing, the objective right thing, not subjective right thing.

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Even when no one is even watching, when no one sees it.

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It's about doing the right thing.

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It's.

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It's when, when you know that, you know, you know that you broke something and when, because no one saw it, you just don't say anything.

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People will do that.

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They'll rent a car, they break something, they put it in.

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As long as no one said, you just don't point it out.

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You don't point it out.

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Well, that's smart.

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Just don't do it.

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That's what they have insurance for.

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That's what people will say.

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But you know, what if there was a camera on all that?

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What if someone, you know, everybody films everything.

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But what if there was a camera on that and then it was brought up and let's just say that you worked for a big company and let's just say that you borrowed a car or you rented a car, you drive, something breaks and you put it up and you turn it in and you don't point out the fact that you broke it.

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But let's just say because of that, everyone talks about all these online scores and all this stuff.

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What if someone had that was videoed and that was posted online and that was your integrity because you didn't report it.

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And then what would you do?

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Oh, I forgot.

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So then would you really know whether or not you forgot, you know, if it was true or not?

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Well then you say, well, they have insurance for that stuff.

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Or why would you, why would you make a big deal out of it?

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And what's the big deal?

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And see, that's the thing people will do that.

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People make it a point to try to wreck you.

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It's unfortunate, but that's the world we're in.

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They'll make, they'll make things, they'll make something, everyone else's problem if they can.

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And so I just want to say, and not that no one's going to do that.

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And then you might say it's illegal to video me, blah, blah, blah.

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Well, let's just say there was a fine print that you didn't see, that you signed that when you rented the car, that there were cameras in there that were watching the whole time anyways, it's a far fetched example, but it's still pointing out something that would be true.

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How would you be in that situation?

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Would you be like, yeah, I broke that, I did that.

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I mean, that would be the goal and that's what we would want.

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So you replace the car with something else.

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Replace it with anything else that you can imagine.

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This principle is something that when you resist certain temptations, resist the things that would pull on you, resist the thing that says, I Can get away with this and maintain your integrity, even if it costs you a little bit.

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You know, maybe you don't get that.

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You know, remember when you're talking about a good name, you're not thinking short term gratification, you're thinking of long term, you're thinking of long term things.

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That's the difference.

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A lot of the trouble that we can find ourselves getting into with dishonorable behavior is in the fact that we're thinking of short term and we're not thinking long term.

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So number one, honorable behavior.

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You know, we're looking at acting with integrity, respect and consideration for others, right?

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Doing the right thing even when no one is watching.

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Now what if you're a business and what does that mean, to do the honorable thing?

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Well, it might mean treating your employees fairly, you know, that's what it means.

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Like being honest with, with your customers that come in.

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Don't change the rules because somehow you put the wrong price on something.

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And so because of it, you made a mistake and you're telling them that no, if they brought it up and it said it cost that much, you don't, don't get into all this stuff.

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And oh, well, it really meant this.

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And no, you need to pay.

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No, that was your mistake.

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Eat it, eat it, learn from it.

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That's what we have to do, is learn to take responsibility for mistakes.

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That goes for your business as well as for yourself.

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So a good name, number one is honorable behavior.

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Number two is it's wisdom.

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To get a good name, you need to not just, just talk about wisdom.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:17:59

And I'm not talking about a worldly type wisdom.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:18:02

I'm talking about there's a wisdom for me that I believe that God will give to us.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:18:05

Not just wisdom that is mostly built on logic and basic information.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:18:10

Because a person knows a lot of stuff and reads a lot of books doesn't make them wise.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:18:15

I'll say that again.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:18:16

Just because a person knows a lot of stuff and reads a lot of books does not make them wise.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:18:21

So when we talk about wisdom, we're not just referring to intelligence or knowledge.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:18:28

Because true wisdom is about applying knowledge in a way that aligns with you.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:18:33

Ready?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:18:34

It aligns with moral and ethical principles.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:18:39

And that's the difference.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:18:41

Wisdom is about applying knowledge in a way that aligns with moral and ethical principles.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:18:49

That's why what I say, you know, for me there's a godly wisdom, a wisdom that says that how do I deal with something?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:18:56

And it's going to apply to, you know, this knowledge applies to these morals.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:02

And I want it to be.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:03

I want to apply knowledge and it's in alignment with a moral and ethical principle or practice.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:08

Like that's going to be the more important thing.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:11

You know, another thing that I want to point out about it, it's making decisions, right?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:15

And so here's an example of that.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:17

Wisdom.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:17

If you're applying knowledge in a way that aligns with moral and ethical principles, it's making decisions that will benefit not just ourselves, but others as.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:25

And that's the thing that I will not be unfair.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:27

Therefore, when I do this thing, wisdom would tell me to do in a way that it does not impact negatively someone else.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:35

Guess what?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:35

That's going to help.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:36

It's going to help my honorable behavior because I'm going to decide differently.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:43

I'm going to make decisions that are going to be better for everyone and not just myself.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:48

And these are things that we have to work on.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:51

Everybody's done it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:52

We can all be so super selfish.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:55

You know, there's a in and there's another story.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:19:58

Or actually for me in the Bible, there's another example of that wisdom, and that's in the book of James.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:20:06

And what it talks about in the book of James is how wisdom is first pure and then it's peaceable and then it's gentle and then it's open to reason and it's full of mercy and good fruit and it's impartial and it's sincere.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:20:24

Like, so if you want to know if my decisions are wise or not, you have to ask is, are my, are they pure?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:20:31

In other words, my motives, are they clear?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:20:32

Is it pure?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:20:33

Then is it peaceable?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:20:35

That means it's not coming in and it's not, it's not like kept causing chaos.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:20:41

Is it gentle?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:20:43

You know, so when it approaches people, it's not like a.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:20:45

It's not blowing them over.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:20:46

You know, logic says take care of yourself.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:20:49

Wisdom says, include the other people, Be palatable with something, be careful.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:20:55

Is it open to reason?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:20:57

Wisdom, Is it open?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:20:58

Can it, can it be questioned?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:21:00

Is it full of mercy?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:21:02

Meaning that you're, you're not just going to apply the wisdom to cause someone else to be punished or to judge someone or cry?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:21:10

Does it have mercy in it and good fruit?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:21:12

In other words, does it, does it, does it bear good fruit afterward?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:21:16

Can you tell that this added value to somebody that it made a difference in their life for the better?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:21:23

It's.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:21:23

There's the evidence of it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:21:24

There's a good fruit quality from it and is it impartial?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:21:28

In other words, it's not wrapped up in the biases that you carry for the things that, that would be advantageous for you or for whatever your idea is or for whatever you want to accomplish.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:21:39

And is it sincere?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:21:41

I mean that's, that kind of wisdom will help us to make better choices that will build trust and respect and be honorable.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:21:51

The third is personal integrity.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:21:54

Woo.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:21:55

This one's a big one because I think all of our personal integrity have been rocked if we're honest with ourselves in our, in the past.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:01

So integrity is about being whole and undivided.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:04

That's literally what it means.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:05

It's, you're a whole person.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:07

You're not double minded, you're not, you're not two faced, you're not, you know, you're not a hypocrite, you're not divided, you're undivided.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:16

Right.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:16

It's when our actions align with our values and our words.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:20

And we want people all the time flip flop around and say one thing, then do another.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:25

And that is what we're doing is we're hurting our own personal integrity.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:29

If we've ever done that, if you've ever done that, I know I've done that.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:32

And I think one of the things about becoming better as being a human being is we have to get honest with those things.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:38

We have to become very, very honest.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:40

And so we, we want to make sure that our actions align with our values and our words.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:45

A person of integrity is the same in public as they are in private.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:50

And that should be a goal.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:51

If you want to know that you have personal integrity, make sure you're the same person.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:22:55

Make sure that there's no hide and seek with your, with your individual identities, that there's not a me here and a me there person.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:23:04

A personal, personal integrity is you keep your promises and you take responsibility for your actions.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:23:09

And so if we're going to make promises, we got to keep promises.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:23:12

And if you've ever broken a promise, you want to fix that and you, I say repent.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:23:16

Don't just say I'm sorry.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:23:17

You start off with I'm sorry, but then you go and say, will you, I ask for your forgiveness.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:23:22

Sorry acknowledges it and that you are, you know, you know you've broken something.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:23:28

And then forgiveness means I'm giving the power back.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:23:31

And I'm hoping that this can be restored or repaired or at best it's acknowledged and understood that I know that I've done this.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:23:40

So you can't control what anyone else does with it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:23:44

So let's think about personal integrity, like when it comes to a business.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:23:47

All right, so in the business world, integrity might mean being transparent about your products or your service, like what they really can do or they can't do.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:23:56

It's honoring commitments to the client.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:23:58

If you say you're going to do it, then do it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:00

It's maintaining the ethical practices even when it's challenging.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:05

You know, you see all these recalls with companies.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:07

You see stuff like that, like you gotta service what you've sold and you've gotta make sure you stand behind it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:13

And that's why so many people, you know, it's very telling in the world that we're in that our insurance has to have other insurance on top of other insurance.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:23

We have to have a warranty on top of another warranty to back up another warranty.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:27

Not only do people sue like crazy, but it's like we can't really back the first thing, so we need need something to back up the first backup.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:34

And then typically we need another backup on that backup to fill the gap of the other backups.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:39

I mean, it's crazy.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:42

It's just so crazy.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:44

But what if we didn't have to do that?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:46

What if we just had personal integrity?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:49

What if we honored our commitments to our clients?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:51

What if we maintain ethical practices even when it was challenging?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:56

Then there's the fourth one here, the fourth pillar.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:24:59

So first one was honorable behavior.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:25:02

Second was wisdom.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:25:03

Third was the personal integrity.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:25:05

And the fourth is moral courage.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:25:07

So moral courage is the strength to stand up for what's right even in the face of opposition or a personal cost.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:25:15

It's about being willing to speak truth to power, to challenge unethical practices, and to make difficult decisions based on principle rather than expediency.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:25:27

Now, I've had people come to me with moral courage and challenge me.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:25:32

And it's hard when they do it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:25:34

And I can tell you I'm grateful that they've done that when they've come directly to me.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:25:38

You know, then you got people that think in the world as you go everywhere else, instead of directly to a person to solve a problem.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:25:44

I have gone to people and have with moral courage and challenged them on something.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:25:49

Something that I saw with.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:25:51

With young people that were.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:25:53

That were drinking.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:25:54

And I went directly to the person in charge and told them what was happening, and they buried it and they hit it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:26:00

Because if they let them, if they said anything about it, then it could wreck some opportunities that they had because it was around as it was around sports and they hid it, they buried it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:26:12

But I went straight to that person and I had the moral courage to do it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:26:16

And from that, that challenge, yeah, they didn't like it and now it's broken relationship because of that.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:26:25

And I can't control that.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:26:28

But it was one of those things that I did.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:26:31

But I went directly to the individual.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:26:33

I do believe it's very important that we work on that and we get better at it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:26:37

We share with someone that this is what's happened and you share it with them.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:26:42

And we try to find better ways to solve some problems.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:26:45

Especially when you're walking with people that you say you care about.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:26:48

And that's when it's even harder is when you care about someone and you have the moral courage to say something to the person that you care about.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:26:54

I'm not talking about.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:26:55

You see travesty in situations all over.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:26:58

I'm just talking simple day to day life.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:27:00

When you care with people, if it's a sibling, a relative, a friend, someone you work with, a co worker and you want to go to them, that's what I'm talking about down to that level.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:27:09

The thing that's in our world of influence and sphere of control and to whatever degree we have it with ourselves in the situation.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:27:17

That's what I'm talking about.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:27:18

That's how you can get a good name.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:27:21

When you see examples.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:27:23

We can see these examples.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:27:24

Sorry.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:27:25

Of moral courage throughout history.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:27:27

Right.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:27:28

That when you look at people who helped when during the Holocaust period, you see people with moral courage that would stand up for the Jews that were being murdered.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:27:41

When you saw people that stood up with moral courage to defend those that were in slavery.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:27:47

When you see the moral courage of people that stand up and are willing to go into communities where there's drugs that are being sold or there's.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:27:54

When you see some of the atrocious things when it comes to sex trafficking, I mean there's some serious people that stand up and they have the moral courage to not just try to find a news feed or something like that, but they actually go and they get involved and they stand and they work on that.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:11

Those are ways that you get a good name.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:15

So how do you build?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:18

Okay, building and repairing a good name?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:21

And this is a real simple thing.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:23

We understand what contributes to a good name.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:26

So let's talk about how you can build or even repair your own reputation if you've broken it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:31

So building a good name.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:33

I'm going to give you five simple things.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:34

The first one is it's consistency, that's key.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:38

So a good name is built over time through your consistent actions.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:43

So what you want to do is make a commitment to live out those four pillars I talked about.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:48

Okay?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:48

You want to do that every single day.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:51

You want to, every single day, live out the honorable behavior, wisdom, personal integrity, and moral courage.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:28:58

That's what you do every day.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:01

Second is you want to be intentional.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:03

Think about the reputation you want to have.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:06

What do you want people to say about you when you're not in the room?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:12

So let that guide your actions.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:14

Now, you can't control what they actually say because you could be.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:17

You could be Jesus Christ himself.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:19

And there are some people that are still going to do whatever they can to put their mouth on you.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:24

They're going to try to wreck you.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:26

That's not what I'm talking about.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:27

I'm talking about in a world where we're dealing with some reasonable things and people who want the best for others and.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:35

And want to see people grow and change and be better, and they themselves want the same for themselves.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:41

Be intentional, okay?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:43

The reputation you want when no one's around, what would they say?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:47

The third is seek some feedback.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:50

I was doing a coaching call with someone and I said to the individual, you know, if you want to know, you need to ask.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:55

Don't sit there and wait for someone to show up and tell you.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:29:58

Just ask, how am I doing?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:00

How's it going?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:02

How does that make you feel?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:04

That's what you want to do.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:05

So seek feedback.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:06

Ask the trusted friends or colleagues, people that are mentors in your life or coach in your life, and you're looking for honest feedback.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:14

And you ready?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:14

Here's what you want to feedback on your character and your actions, okay?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:20

And that's because that's the information you need.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:24

You don't want to dance around it, character and actions, and be open to them for that constructive criticism.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:31

Because that's the hardest part, when you get the answer.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:34

Like when you say to someone, hey, how am I doing?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:36

And they go, hey or hey, I said this to you.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:40

Did that offend you?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:41

And if they say, yes, are you ready for that answer?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:44

Yes.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:44

And then if they go.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:45

And you go, oh, my gosh, I'm sorry about that.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:48

Will you forgive me?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:49

But then they say, yeah, but let me tell you what that did.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:53

You've got to be ready.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:56

And I encourage you to.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:30:59

The fourth is learn from your mistakes, okay?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:02

We all make mistakes.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:04

And when you do, you want to own up to them, learn from them, and use them.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:08

As opportunities for growth.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:10

I mean, that's that.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:12

Now, you can't do all these things all the time with people.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:15

The ideal thing is you get perfect fixing and opportunity with.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:18

You can't do this with everyone.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:20

A lot of this stuff you're going to have to do on your own with some key people.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:23

And that's the best way to do it, because that will give you your best traction, your best possibility for getting better and well, and your best possibility for moving forward.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:33

That's the key.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:35

So you want to learn from your stakes.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:37

When you do own up to them, learn from them and use them as opportunities for growth and then serve some other people.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:43

That's the fifth thing.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:44

If you want to build it, serve someone else.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:46

Look for opportunities to add value to other people into their lives.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:50

Because a reputation of generosity and service goes a long way.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:56

Especially if you've hurt something.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:31:58

Because you move from being a taker, where you've taken power, you've injured someone.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:02

If you hurt someone to serving, okay, that's your giver, okay?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:06

So that repairs some things.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:08

And again, you can't fix everything.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:11

But in repairing a good name, when you're working on that, and some of you have done that, it could be a good name, could be you made bad tests and you tested bad all through school, and you had to turn it around and so your report card was bad.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:24

Maybe you're building your credit.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:26

That's a bad name to people on your credit file.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:29

You know that's bad.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:30

And so you've got to rebuild your credit.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:32

These all apply to that.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:33

It could be you were a poor teammate, you haven't helped your team succeed or be successful, that you can repair the damage of your name.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:41

It's a good name.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:42

You're trying to get back.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:43

It could be relationships, it could be friends.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:45

I mean, who knows?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:46

But this is what I'm saying is.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:48

And listen, if you're listening to this, please do not weaponize this conversation or talk and go slam somebody with it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:55

I think the best thing is to turn it around on yourself.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:58

Like, this is what I'm doing.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:32:59

This is.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:33:00

There's a lot of.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:33:01

Listen.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:33:01

I know there's people in life that have hurt me and I've hurt them and all these things.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:33:05

But right now, this is mostly what I'm learning from me so that I can be a better human being and I can work on doing things and I can work on the name that I would like to have.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:33:14

The name that I'm working to, to grow or to solidify to Strengthen.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:33:24

So if you've damaged it, and somehow in one of those examples, I said, if you made mistakes and you've damaged your reputation, grades, credit, whatever, don't despair, okay?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:33:35

Because it's possible to repair a damaged name, but it's going to take time and it's going to take consistent effort.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:33:45

So the first thing that you can do is just take responsibility.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:33:48

Acknowledge your mistakes without making excuses.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:33:52

Apologize sincerely to those you've hurt or you've let down, and do it once.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:33:59

If it's a sincere place, do it once.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:00

You don't need to do it over and over and over and over and over again.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:03

No, no, just do it once.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:05

Be sincere and start working on it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:08

Second is make amends.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:10

So where it's possible, take action to right the wrong.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:13

If it's possible.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:15

So this might involve a restitution, but mostly, can I tell you, it's changed behavior.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:20

One of the best ways to make amends is change your behavior.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:25

Okay?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:25

In some cases, it can be a combination of both.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:28

The third that I want to tell you about is be patient.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:31

Rebuilding trust takes time.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:33

So you want to be consistent in your efforts to live with integrity.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:39

Even if results aren't immediate, you still want to be patient with it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:43

Take your time.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:45

The fourth is, I would say seek accountability.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:34:48

Find a trusted friend or, or mentor, or if you can, go to a therapist, counselor who can hold you accountable as you work to rebuild your reputation.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:00

And then five, Focus on the future.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:03

This is a big one.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:04

You don't need to camp out in it because you can't change it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:07

It's done.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:09

So while you can't change the past, you can control your actions going forward.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:14

So focus on consistently making choices that align with the person you want to be.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:20

I got to say that again, you can't change the past.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:24

Right?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:25

But you can.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:25

You can control your actions going forward.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:29

Focus on consistently making choices that align with the person you want, want to be.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:38

So, and if you're a business, I'm going to say this because I coach some businesses that have been in some serious trouble.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:44

It's equal to businesses, right?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:46

So a company's reputation can be its most valuable asset and it's.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:50

It's its greatest liability as well.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:53

So for businesses, building a good name might involve ready, consistently delivering quality products or services.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:35:59

It could be treating employees and customers or your clients with respect and dignity and honor.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:06

It's also about being transparent in your business practices.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:11

Another one is giving back to your community.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:14

Okay.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:15

And then another one is demonstrate ethical leadership.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:18

So Remember, a business's reputation is built or damaged by actions of every employee, every leader.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:28

So as leaders, it's crucial to foster a culture that values and rewards honorable behavior, wisdom, integrity, and moral courage.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:35

So if you're.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:36

If you're running a company, and this is one of the things I do, I go into companies, I help them build honorable behavior, wisdom, integrity, and moral courage in businesses.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:44

That's what I do.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:45

And I love it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:46

Because those people are also individuals that go home.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:49

So guess what?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:50

It's a two for one.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:51

When I work with them in their company, they get to take that home and bring it to their house.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:55

And if I work for them out with them outside their company, they could take that into their business.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:36:59

That's what it is.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:00

So you're dealing with a whole person, always.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:04

Whoo.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:04

It's a lot I know.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:07

But.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:07

But what's in a.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:08

What's in a good name?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:09

And how can you make a good name?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:12

I'm hoping this is going to help you with it.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:14

I hope you're going to see these pillars.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:16

Because in conclusion, I just want you to really know that a good name, it's truly more valuable than money and great riches.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:24

It is.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:26

Because it's a legacy.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:27

See, when you're gone, your money's gone, your homes are gone, everything is gone.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:32

But your family carries that legacy.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:34

People in your life carry that legacy.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:37

It's your name.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:39

It's legacy that can impact not just your life, but the lives of those around you and those future generations.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:47

Right?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:48

So I challenge you to take these steps in the coming week.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:52

Here's what I want you to do.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:55

I want you to reflect on your current reputation.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:37:58

I want you to ask three people you trust for honest feedback about how they perceive your character.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:38:05

The second thing I want you to do is identify one area where you can improve in demonstrating honorable behavior, wisdom, integrity, or moral courage.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:38:16

The third thing I want you to do is make a specific plan to implement that improvement and share it with an accountability partner.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:38:26

And then the fourth thing, look for an opportunity each day to serve others or add value to someone's life.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:38:33

That's a clear call to action.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:38:35

Reflect on your reputation.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:38:36

Identify an area you can improve on.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:38:38

Make a specific plan to implement that improvement, and look for opportunity to serve each.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:38:44

Serve others.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:38:44

Listen back to these, okay?

Tim Pecoraro: 00:38:46

And remember this, that building a good name is a lifelong journey.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:38:52

It's never too late to start, and its rewards are immeasurable.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:38:58

So as you finish this, listening to this today, and as you take these AirPods out or whatever you're listening on or get out of your car.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:39:06

I encourage you to make the choice to prioritize your character over short term gains.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:39:13

Choose to be a person or a business known for honor.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:39:17

Honor, wisdom, integrity and courage.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:39:22

And in doing so, you'll build a legacy that truly matters.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:39:26

So until next time.

Tim Pecoraro: 00:39:28

We'll talk soon.